


High-five Your Goodbyes

by still_water



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Genderbending, Humor, M/M, Romance, girl!baekhyun, girl!kyungsoo, girl!luhan, girl!tao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-20
Updated: 2014-07-12
Packaged: 2018-01-09 09:58:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1144629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/still_water/pseuds/still_water
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where:</p>
<p>EXO are a mixed group.</p>
<p>Kyungsoo is nursing an unrequited love for a bandmate.</p>
<p>Baekhyun and Chanyeol are friends with all the benefits and all of the downsides.</p>
<p>Everyone else is keen on making Kyungsoo's life uncomfortable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (There's Sehun/Tao and Minseok/Luhan if you squint hard enough.)
> 
> This was originally just girl!Kyungsoo and girl!Baekhyun but girl!Tao and girl!Luhan kind of messed everything up. I hope you enjoy.

“I’m going to kill Luhan.”

“No, you’re not. Your hands are too tiny for murder. I thought we already talked about this.”

“I am not wearing this, Baekhyun. I’m just not. It's not happening.”

“Correction: you are, and it is.”

“Why can’t they just give it to Tao?”

The heater in their dressing room is broken and it’s below five degrees and that’s not even the worst part of the day because Kyungsoo has to wear a tiny, _barely existent_ red dress that’s one red lace away from making her mother blush. The theme for today's magazine shoot is red and black. Across the hall, the boys are being dressed in something slick and Ralph Lauren. While Kyungsoo is made to look like a whore.

She studies the garment in her hands like it has personally done her wrong.

“I’m gonna cry. But first I have to kill Luhan.”

“Don’t cry, you’ll ruin your makeup.” Baekhyun glares at her. She’s wearing a black halter dress that cuts around her thighs and a pair of cherry red heels that look nice against her olive skin. While Kyungsoo, it cannot be said enough, is made to look like a whore. “Do whatever you want with Luhan. She may be a genius, but she’s a menace. Oh, but we’re back to your small hand issues.”

“There’s barely anything in this dress. I’m gonna look like a Myeongdong prostitute.”

“A _classy_ Myeongdong prostitute,” reasons Baekhyun, as if that changes everything.

Kyungsoo wants to growl, but throat ends up producing a sorry gurgling sound.

“You're being overdramatic. _God,_ Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun finally reduces herself to an eyeroll, which is never a good sign, “You’re _such_ a virgin it kills me. Come here,” she drags Kyungsoo and throws her effortlessly into the fitting room.

Before she can protest, Baekhyun is already pushing the the dress into Kyungsoo’s chest and locking the door of the fitting room.

“Listen to me. You will put on that dress. Or with God as my witness, I will drag Jongin in here and make him put it on you.” Baekhyun shouts from the other side of the door.

This shuts Kyungsoo up. /p>

“Not complaining now are we, princess?”

“This wasn’t even in our contract!”

“Put it on or I’m gonna kill you.”

“I did not sign up for this.”

“And I’m very at hiding dead bodies.”

“It’s probably not even my size.”

“Ralph Lauren did not pay us for a half-day shoot so you can bitch about a dress that half of the women in Korea would kill their mothers for.”

“You're exaggerating.”

“They’ll be calling us out in 20 minutes and I don’t want to ruin my dress by having to drag your virgin ass into the set.”

“Still not putting it on?” Kyungsoo hears Tao’s voice.

“No. Luhan was right. Kyungsoo’s beyond help.”

“I heard that!”

“I know!”

“Tao-ya, will you trade dresses with me?” Kyungsoo calls out in desperation.

“Don’t listen to her. Our little virgin rose needs a taste of what it’s like to be a woman and this dress might help.” Baekhyun mock-whispers.

“Tao, please? I will make you kimchi spaghetti after this.”

“Not even if you promise to cook kimchi spaghetti for dinner every day for the rest of our lives, Soo. Sorry.”

“Good girl, Tao. I’ve taught you well.”

She can hear them both giggle. To be the only girls in the 12-people group, Kyungsoo originally imagined that the she, Tao, Baekhyun and Luhan would be a team and have each other’s backs. But it had recently come to her knowledge that Luhan took it upon herself to discuss costume assignments with the styling staff and single-handedly handpicked the red dress for Kyungsoo, and Tao and Baekhyun couldn’t care less to help her out of the tight situation, pun wholeheartedly intended, as their current connivance would prove.

Right there, in the luxurious fitting room of the 25th floor, as she puts on the tight red dress, Kyungsoo rethinks her decisions of ever agreeing to joining this group.

 

\--

 

Every group under SM has to go through some kind of branding process that primarily looks into their personalities (primarily, although not always. It’s all very political); it was SOP as a marketing strategy. For the girls, it was quite clear on the onset.

Baekhyun is the lively ringleader and the group’s resident bully with an attitude and a sharp tongue, who looks great in Chanyeol’s snapback and glittery jeans. Tao, on the other hand, is the giggly maknae who can snap your neck with her French-tipped fingers and looks phenomenal in mini-skirts. Luhan is the soft-lipped Chinese temptress who’s everyone’s favorite noona for her impeccable skills at deceit and manipulation (one time she got Kris to run around the dormitory in a peacock costume whilst screaming “I’m a pretty swan lake princess!” To this day no one knows, or is too scared to ask, how or why).

And Kyungsoo... Kyungsoo has never really fit into any kind of branding. Nonexistent is one. And short. Baekhyun may share the same sentiment but she’s got the hips and breasts to make up for being vertically challenged, for _everything,_ really _._ Where Baekhyun is curvy, Kyungsoo is flat. Where Tao is long, Kyungsoo is short.

She’s too pale, not like Luhan or Baekhyun, but like the sickly kind. Her skin doesn’t shine in the sun like theirs probably would. She’s too wide-eyed, in an owlish way that comes off more scary than endearing.

According to fans, she’s always too quiet and too awkward and too twitchy for variety, that her stale personality, easily overshadowed by Baekhyun’s loud mouth, Tao’s enthusiasm, and Luhan’s cutely misspoken Korean, pushes her further into the background.

She believes the only reason SM dared to take her in is because of her voice, which, she’ll admit, is the least sucky thing about her. Thank _God._ At least she’s got that going for her.

But it still doesn’t explain why she’s forced to wear this stupid red dress, when three other people can do it much, much more justice.

After a hardly successful feat of getting the right body part into the right hole, Kyungsoo emerges out the fitting room like a Trojan victim. She can hear a snap of a camera phone followed by a flash before everything goes quiet.

“What?” She asks the two gaping faces in front of her.

Like always, Baekhyun breaks the silence. “What the fuck?”

“What?” She panics. “Is it that bad?”

“I can strangle you right now.” Baekhyun says breathlessly, and Kyungsoo doesn’t know whether to feel complimented or scared.

“Kyungsoo, you look - ” Tao begins, but instead she just continues to look like her cat just got run over by a truck.

“Can somebody say somethig?!”

Baekhyun snaps out of her daze and pulls Kyungsoo towards the wall-length mirrors. “Look at you. Every guy in Korea – hell, every guy in _the world –_ would kill to have their hands you.”

Kyungsoo checks herself in the mirror. The dress is actually okay. Considering that it covers barely enough of her chest, it does hug just right around the waist and tapers down to her thighs, giving off the illusion she actually has a shape and height.

“Let’s show the boys and watch their balls drop.” Baekhyun says with a smile.

 

\--

 

Kyungsoo is in a group where at least 9/12 of the members are children below 10.

The boys' reactions couldn't be more dramatic if they tried. One of them pretends to faint one on of the plush Italian couches (Chanyeol). Other reactions are mix of a catcall (Kris), a wolf-whistle (Jongdae), and a nicely-worded compliment (Minseok and Joonmyun). Kyungsoo also gets a nice pat on the back (Yixing), and a more epic “Wait, Kyungsoo is a girl?” (Sehun)

“You’re welcome,” Luhan contributes. “Gentlemen, give me the pleasure of collecting your jaws from the floor.”

Kyungsoo would strangle her if she wasn’t three years older and if Kyungsoo’s ego wasn’t feeling a bit stroked right now.

“They grow up so fast.” Baekhyun mock-sobs next to Chanyeol, wiping her imaginary tears. Chanyeol tightens his arm around her.

“It seems just like yesterday we were tying her shoelaces for her.” He says, choking up. 

“I think Jongin is having a heart attack.” Jondgae laughs all of a sudden.

Kyungsoo’s stomach coils at that. She looks around and sees Jongin leaning against the wall, in a black-and-white tuxedo with a single red rose tucked neatly in the breast pocket. His shoulders look even broader with his head bent down slightly. 

“Shut up, hyung.” He says calmly. Then – “you look nice, noona.”

“You, too.” She says casually, even as her brain starts melting. “They did a great job with your hair.” God did a great job with your existence, she wanted to say.

 “… and they live happily ever after. Uh, can we please get past your awkward flirting ritual and get this thing over with. These heels are killing me.” Baekhyun says, clinging to Chanyeol like her life depends on it.

Kyungsoo zones out after ‘flirting ritual’.

 

\--

 

The James Bond-themed photoshoot goes as per.

The four girls are scattered evenly among the guys. Some of them get through it like they usually do, doing a minimally satisfactory job at trying to keep a straight face while the other members (Chanyeol and Jongdae), are doing dumb James Bond poses and making silly villain faces behind the photographer.

Kyungsoo usually finds herself trapped between Sehun and Joonmyun, with Jongin at the farthest end of the line, right next to Chanyeol. She tries to catch his attention. She wants him to notice her, wants him to check her out in this tiny red dress that took ten minutes to put on and wants him to blush and flounder but.

Nothing. Jongin, as always, shows nothing. Jongin in his handsome, flawlessly pressed suit.

And her stomach does that coiling thing again that makes her want him even more.

 

\--

 

“Hi miss, my name is Chen. Do you come here often?”

“Name’s Kris. I don’t believe we’ve met, because I think I’d remember that pretty young face if we did.”

“I’m still wrapping my head around the fact that Kyungsoo is a girl.” Sehun deadpans.

Kyungsoo finally turns around to face his dumb friends and scoffs. “Drop it. I’m gonna have a migraine.”

“Do you know what’ll cure that migraine? You, me, and a bottle of champagne. Under the moonlight.”

“God, Yixing-oppa, you too?” Kyungsoo gives up.

“See, Kyungsoo? You’re hot.” Baekhyun walks in the dressing room with a box of donuts in hand. How she manages to keep her figure is sometimes a mystery to Kyungsoo. “30 minutes in and these guys can’t even keep their tongues in their mouths.”

If Kyungsoo has a retort to that, it stops dead in her throat because Baekhyun and Chanyeol are already biting into a single piece of donut and possibly two seconds away from a make-out session. Since the day they saw that scene from Lady and the Tramp, they’ve made it their personal mission to do the same with every food item they could find. Sometimes it gets messy.

Luhan clears her throat. “And do I even hear a ‘thank you, Luhan’ or a ‘good job, Luhan’? No.” She crosses her arms against her chest as her head shakes, making her look like a petulant rainbow fairy. The only reason Minseok hasn’t teased Kyungsoo yet is because he hasn’t been able to take his eyes away from Luhan long enough to jump into the make-Kyungsoo’s-life-as-uncomfortable-as-possible wagon.

“How about a ‘I hate you Luhan’, instead?” Kyungsoo bites weakly. 

“And those times I took off my shirt in front of you? I was doing that in front of a girl?”

Tao giggles on top of Sehun’s lap.

“Okay, enough with the androgynous jokes, Sehun. We get it.”

“What our beloved Sehunnie is saying is that you, my child, are finally blossoming into a woman.” Luhan says, voice entirely too sweet and too evil for her own good. “So go forth, my supple rosebud, and let thy nectar be sucked.”

Kyungsoo gets up. “Okay, I’m getting out of here.”

“You can’t. They’re calling us back out in five minutes.” Joonmyun says, all leader-like all over a sudden, as if he wasn't laughing like a hyena when Tao kept groping for Kyungsoo’s breasts to double-check if they were real.

“I’m just gonna---” _escape this hell,_ “go.” She raises her wrist. “Don’t worry, oppa, I know how to use my watch.”

“Don’t let the door hit you in the vagina on your way out!” Baekhyun calls out. “God knows it’s tighter than a nun’s.”

Sehun mock-spills his orange juice. “Kyungsoo has a vagina?!”

Tao unleashes another shrill, high-pitched giggle, almost falling off Sehun’s lap.

Kyungsoo runs from the shame-stricken hole and seeks refuge in the open air. She hears this building has a terrace that has a good view of the Seoul skyline, so that’s where she lets her heels take her. Three hallways and one staircase later, she reaches her destination; she barely feels the throbbing in her feet, because the view is as breathtaking as it says on the brochure. The sky is just about to make that soft transition from a hazy blue to an orange purple, casting a warm shadow onto the world beneath it.

Kyungsoo sighs. It’s perfect.

“What you are doing here?"

She follows the voice and sees  _him._ "Jongin?"

“Hi.” He sounds breathless, making no move to walk closer to her. "So, what are you doing here?"

“I should ask you the same.” Kyungsoo stays still.

“I wanted a little bit of quiet.” 

Kyungsoo holds on to the ledge. “Me, too."

"I can go if you want me to."

There it is. That same ice-cold elephant in the room neither of them is brave enough to address. It should feel so familiar by now that Kyungsoo wonders when it'll stop hurting. "Do _you_ want to go?"

Jongin considers her for a second, before thankfully, deciding to stay. "I think I'll enjoy what little peace I have left."

"They're driving you up the wall, too?"

"The noise is unbearable sometimes."

"God, you sound 70." Kyungsoo chuckles.

Jongin makes a low noise of acknowledgment. "Unfortunately, I have many years left in my life to endure them."

"Please, you love them."

"You love them, too."

"Only sometimes."

"And me?"

"I love you the most." Kyungsoo suddenly wants to jump off the terrace and end up on someone's shattered windshield. "God, it's beautiful up here." she attempts.

“It really is.”

Something about Jongin's voice makes Kyungsoo shift her eyes at him. He's looking back. 

She finally lets go of the ledge and makes her way closer to him. “Yeah, ignore the fact that we’re probably gonna freeze to death.” She stops when they’re a mere half-foot apart.

Jongin laughs at that. “I can die a happy man then.”

 

Kyungsoo begins to shiver, and not from the cold. "Why's that?"

"I'm looking at the most beautiful sight in the world."

 

Before Kyungsoo can dissect the words, the door swings opens behind them. It’s one of the staff. He looks equal parts annoyed and relieved.

“Guys, break over. And Baekhyun wants me to relay the message that if you don’t um, get your asses down there in 20 seconds, she will, um, decapitate you and throw your heads into the Han River.”

 

\--

 

Falling in love with Jongin wasn’t part of the plan.

When Kyungsoo learned that she was debuting with 3 other girls and 8 guys in Korea’s up and coming mixed group, some of whom she already took the same bus ride home with every night after a hard day’s work, one could say that it was the happiest day of her life.

Even though the road to fame looked long and winding, she didn’t care. Because it was a confirmation from the universe and a fuck-you to everyone who’s ever laughed at her and told her she was insane for even considering singing as a career, that she was well on her way.

But the best part was knowing she’d be working and embarking on the most amazing adventure of her life with some of the most talented and most hardworking group of people whom she’s ever had the fortune of sharing a ramen takeaway with. The girls were beautiful and loud and can be a bit dominating, and the boys were dreamy and strangely-mannered and just as beautiful.

(Jongin had always caught her attention, even from the start, because he flowed like water on the dancefloor and had a nice smile. She still remembers the first time they officially met. It was outside the SM building and the rain was unforgiving. They chatted as they waited for the rain to stop under Kyungsoo’s pink umbrella, talking about their dreams, and fears, the what-ifs, the things they had to leave behind. Back then they had no idea that 2 years later they’d be lumped together and living out their dream hand-in-hand, but even then, right there, under the pouring rain, Kyungsoo could already Jongin as a part of her future, because she liked the way he ducked his head down or the hesitant way he bit his lip when he thought he’d said too much. She also liked the way he didn’t call her ‘noona’ like those others kids Sehun and Taemin did, although sometimes, and she didn’t know if it was intentional, the Sehun kid would call her ‘hyung’.)

They’ve had good days and bad days, 8 hours straight in the air-conditioned studio with different sets of vocal and dance coaches with too little sleep and too little hope. Some didn’t get along as well as others. Some were gender clashes. Some were just general personality incompatibilities. Chanyeol was too insensitive. Yixing was too nice. Baekhyun was too controlling. Sehun was too hard-headed. Joonmyun was too naïve. Some were too this, some were too that.

Some were on the brink of giving up. Some were missing home so much every single day was a battle.

But for some reason, they weathered every storm and came out intact. They won 18 trophies and sold a million albums last year alone.

It was only unfortunate that Kyungsoo started to fall in love with one of them along the way. And no amount of album sales could make up for that monumental mistake.

 

\-- 

 

After the shoot, Kyungsoo’s feet ache like a motherfucker. She spends thirty minutes on the tub, which rouses a lot of complaints from most of the residents (“Kyungsoo, I swear to God, I know you’re a girl but I am going to kick this door open and barge in there if you don’t come out in 5 minutes!” “Wait, Kyungsoo is a girl?” “Sehunnie, now’s not the time! SHUT UP!”) but she heeds no warning and blasts her iPod to full volume and drowns in Mary J. Blige’s coffee-laden voice. She steps out of the shower room 20 minutes later feeling like a freshly-bathed queen.

Tao is already snoring when Kyungsoo walks past her bed, makeup and shoes still on. For someone so gorgeous and skilled in martial arts, Tao can be a bit undisciplined in the hygiene department.

Nothing beats the smell of fresh sheets and that’s what Kyungsoo loves about their new housemaid. She changes the sheets every three days. Kyungsoo is just about to close her eyes and head into an 8-hour coma when a body slides in next to her under the soft layers of her comforter.

“Baekhyun?” She asks, more concerned than irritated, and this is coming from someone who believes that it’s the universe’s personal scheme to keep them from getting any sleep. Kyungsoo deserves a Good Friend award.

An arm drapes over her tummy and tugs. “Kyungsoo-yah…” Baekhyun whines next to her, pulling her close. This can’t be good. A whiny _and_ clingy Baekhyun is _never_ good.

“What happened to you?”

“Boys are jerks.” Baekhyun mumbles through a pout.

By ‘boys’, Baekhyun means ‘Chanyeol’. Kyungsoo can’t wait to hear what happened this time.  And by that, Kyungsoo means ‘fucking shoot me.’

“What did he do this time?” Kyungsoo asks, if only out of courtesy. Because she knows. Everyone who’s ever been in the same room with Baekhyun and Chanyeol knows.

 It’s a known fact that every once in a while Chanyeol will say the wrong thing and Baekhyun will dramatically storm out of the room and all it takes is for him to make puppy faces at her and she’ll forgive him like nothing ever happened and the same shit happens all over again two days after, sometimes less. And it’s always for the same fucking reason: Chanyeol’s dense, thick skull. Poor guy is probably across the hall in his room right now wondering what he said wrong.

Kyungsoo is partly sick of it, and although she doesn’t want to admit it, she’s partly used to it.

“You know,” Baekhyun sniffs, although she hasn’t been crying, “the usual.”

 _It always is,_ Kyungsoo whispers bitterly to herself. Although she’s mostly thankful that Baekhyun isn’t keen on the details.

“Can I crash here for tonight? I really don’t wanna sleep alone.”

“Do I have a choice?” In Kyungsoo’s defense, it’s already 1am and she’s really, really, _really_ tired.

“You’re a great friend, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo’s irritation momentarily deflates and she feels the pinpricks of guilt stab at her. She moves in even closer against Baekhyun, letting herself be claimed as her friend’s personal body pillow, and finally, blessed be the Lord, she closes her eyes and lets sleep slowly claim her.

_Baekhyun is kind of a great friend too. Sure, she can be a little pain in the ass and unnecessarily loud in the morning, but beyond the inappropriate penis jokes and the mood swings and the temper and the –_

“Whoa, what are you doing?” Kyungsoo freezes when she feels Baekhyun’s hand slip beneath the waistband of her pajamas, teasing lightly.

“Chanyeol and I were in the middle of an extremely hot makeout session when the fight started and I’m still pretty horny. May I?” She says while leaning towards Kyungsoo’s face to aim for her lips.

Kyungsoo draws back, scared. Absolutely fucking scared.

 “Oh, come on. Don’t you wanna experiment a little?” Baekhyun says in her usual honey-sweet voice, biting her lower lip, as if this is just one of those times where she’s asking for the last bite of Kyungsoo’s sandwich. “Don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it. I have. Lots of times. Sometimes when I’m with Chanyeol.”

Kyungsoo swallows hard and finally finds her voice. “Are you fucking serious?”

Baekhyun’s face goes blank. Then – “No, but you should totally see your face right now.”

Kyungsoo can feel the rush of blood return to her face. “God.” She mutters out in relief, pushing Baekhyun slightly off of her, but this only spurs Baekhyun to pull her closer. Will the day ever come that she’ll get used to Baekhyun’s evil ways, she won’t live long enough to know. “I hate you.” She says, but it comes out without venom.

“You love me.” Baekhyun scoffs. “Jeez, Kyungsoo, you really make a funny-ass face when you’re scared. Your eyes looked like they were about 2 seconds from falling out of your face and rolling on the floor.”

“I’m going to sleep.” She says with a bite of finality, rolling to her side and facing away from Baekhyun, who still has a stupid, self-satisfied smirk on.

“It’s really cute though.” Baekhyun’s leg slips between Kyungsoo’s under the blanket, fitting snugly in there. “No wonder Jongin in stupidly in love with you.”

Kyungsoo almost falls off the bed. “What?” She barely manages to croak out.

But of course Baekhyun chooses that time to fall asleep, face peaceful and almost angel-like on Kyungsoo’s neck. She’s the devil.

 

\--

 

Sure enough, the next day during breakfast, they all hear confirmation that Chanyeol and Baekhyun have made up sometime the night before, somewhere between 3 to 4 AM, albeit in a very explicit, unnecessarily graphic way.

It’s Chanyeol who starts it, having a hard time stuffing the pancake into this mouth. “God, my jaw hurts.”

“From what?” Joonmyun asks, being the perfectly concerned leader-friend that he always is. Also he can’t have Chanyeol messing up his solos with a sprained jaw.

“From how I was sitting on his face last night.” Baekhyun says without warning which literally sends Jongdae’s milk all over the table. Chanyeol smiles awkwardly at everyone within eyeshot, teeth abnormally white, and retreats.

“Sorry I asked,” Joonmyun says quickly as he goes back to his morning paper.

“Baekhyun-ah, what the hell is wrong with you?” Jongdae whines, wiping his mess with the end of Jongin’s oversized t-shirt, Jongin who’s only 30% awake at this hour.

“Some of us are trying to eat here,” Tao says with a glare.

Minseok looks like he might be shaking his head, or openly gagging on his scrambled eggs. Or both.

“Tell me more.” Sehun manages to say around a sandwich.

Baekhyun just shrugs, casually chewing her cereal, and accepts the high-five Luhan sends her way.

Kyungsoo sighs over her salad. Give it three days, history shall repeat itself.

 

\--

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is still keen on making Kyungsoo's life uncomfortable.

Two days is all Kyungsoo needed. They’re supposed to be resting in preparation for two weeks of promotions, which naturally means Baekhyun and Chanyeol are binging on each other again. 

It fails to surprise anyone when a door slams and an enraged Baekhyun storms into the lounge room, leaving the earth to shake behind her with each livid stomp. She halts in front of Jongin, who’s crouched in a bean bag chair against the far end of the wall and too engrossed in his laptop to notice the small ball of fury hovering above him. Bless his soul.

“Kim Jongin, do you think my ass looks fat in these jeans? Yes or no?”

Jongin finally glances up, probably making a mental decision on how to handle Baekhyun this time, and takes off his earphones. “Uh, is this a trick question?”

“Yes,” Baekhyun sings sweetly, and underneath the saccharine voice is proverbial fire about to burn them all down if Jongin doesn’t get his act together, “Or no.” 

Jongin gulps, looking like a puppy being cornered by the neighborhood bully and Kyungsoo would feel sympathetic if it he didn’t look so adorable. “No.”

“No? You don’t think I look fat in them?” Baekhyun’s eyes narrow into slits so sharp they can probably cut through glass, or well, human skin.

He pleads for help by shooting quick glances at anyone in the room who’s about to witness Baekhyun murder Jongin on a cold winter day. “No.”

However, this doesn’t appear to be the day that Baekhyun kills a bandmate because she’s taking a long, calming breath. “See, Chanyeol! That’s how you answer a question! ‘You look better off them’ isn’t going to fucking help me decide whether or not I’ll be spending my next paycheck on Capri pants!” She yells and Kyungsoo is sure the whole dorm complex can hear. Then Baekhyun turns to her with a pout, “I’m sleeping in your bed tonight.”

Kyungsoo can only nod.

Jongin sneaks a worried look her way and Kyungsoo shrugs, accepting her fate that comes in the form of Baekhyun crashing on her lap and winding her arms around Kyungsoo’s neck.

“Trouble in paradise?” Yixing kindly offers, which sounds more like a routine than anything now, nothing less repetitive than the super-repetitive dance sequence to ‘Growl’. He pats Baekhyun’s head as he walks past them, heading quickly for the boys’ quarters. 

“If it was a paradise, then I’d have had numerous multiple orgasms by now, but no.” Baekhyun gripes at Yixing’s retreating back, but of course the sense of grievance is cut short when the opportunity to mess with Kyungsoo suddenly presents itself. “Soo-soo, an orgasm is when –”

“Ha-ha.” She deadpans, ignoring the little gargles of laughter from Sehun and Jongdae behind her. “So what do you guys want for dinner?” 

Jongdae and Sehun make a chorus shout of “Taeyeon in hotpants” because she assumes that’s what they’ve been busy checking out on Joonmyun’s laptop in the last two hours. Minseok suggests baked chicken and Yifan says something about organic tofu sushi bagels, which has everyone rolling their eyes because always trust Yifan to say something incredibly pretentious even with refrigerated cucumber slices propped on his eyeballs.

“I’m not sending someone to the grocery in this weather only to have twelve people eat food that tastes like plastic. Sorry, Kris-oppa.”

“Excuse you, they’re delicious.”

“No.”

“The baked chicken, then.”

“We already had that yesterday.”

“So?”

“Just no.”

“Ugh, Kyungsoo, why must you make life difficult.” Jongdae bellyaches. “I’m starving.”

“Chef privileges, deal with it.”

“Forget Kyungsoo. Let’s just order pizza.” Sehun suggests.

“Yeah!” supports Tao.

“No.” Joonmyun and Kyungsoo snap in chorus, and Joonmyun rewards her with an approving smile. “Who wants vegetarian spring rolls?” He addresses.

“Not for as long as I’m alive.” Jongdae says.

“Sweet and spicy pork?”

“I’m on a diet. Nobody say the ‘p’ word or I’m castrating someone in their sleep.” Luhan speaks up.

“We don’t have pork anyway.”

“Kyungsoo said the ‘p’ word!” 

“Kyungsoo is adorable so it doesn’t count.” 

“So unfair.” grumbles Tao. “Jajjangmyeon?”

“No noodles after six, you know that.” Kyungsoo says.

“Let’s just eat Kyungsoo and get it over with. I bet some people in this room would be more than happy.” comes Baekhyun’s suggestion, and if Kyungsoo wasn’t such a Great Friend, she’d throw Baekhyun off of her lap and into the sweltering pits of hell from whence she came.

“I bet she tastes like melted marshmallows and raspberries and roasted sweet potatoes on a cool summer’s day.” Luhan says, almost dreamily.

“I bet she tastes like suffering and cruelty.” Sehun states.

“I bet she tastes like the tears of the starving children of Afri –“

“Okay, stop. Nobody’s eating Kyungsoo.” says Kyungsoo. “Any more useful suggestions?”

“Crab meat in soy sauce, please.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes follow the shy voice in the corner and halt at the sight of Jongin looking at her through twinkling, hopeful eyes and right there and then, she makes up her mind. 

“I really like the way you make it.” Jongin adds bashfully, and Kyungsoo bristles.

“Crab, it is.” She says, trying to sound cool and not at all like someone who’s desperately smitten with a bandmate.

“Jongin, you suck.” Sehun accuses. 

“Get a fucking room.” Baekhyun grumbles.

Behind her, Jongdae is making loud whip noises with his mouth, causing Sehun to bark out a laugh, and Kyungsoo can only hope that they don’t mean what she thinks they mean, but Luhan confirms it by saying “looks like Chanyeol’s ass isn’t the only whipped thing in the house.”

\--

The Ralph Lauren scans leak out a few weeks later, and everyone but Kyungsoo is enthusiastic.

She stands a good few feet away from the huddle around some coordinator’s laptop and watches them skim through the photos in varying degrees of interest. They all have unopened official hard copies waiting in the mail but no one is diligent enough to bother. Internet delivers all humanity from evil, argues Jongdae, who’s got only half of his make-up done as they were interrupted by Tao barreling through the door of the makeup room with the news. Jongdae made puppy faces at their coordinator Sunjeong and got his way. Even though they had only thirty minutes before showtime, everyone rushed from their makeup chairs to gather around Jongdae, who’s now taking the reins in front of Sunjeong’s Macbook. 

Jongdae’s laugh is the first actual reaction Kyungsoo hears, as she makes final costume fixes obsessively in front of the mirror by testing out the elasticity limits of her suspenders and adjusting the Fedora firmly in place.

“This is too good. Kris-hyung looks like that pasty-ass douche from that vampire movie!” He exclaims, pointing at the monitor. “I can’t.” 

“You mean Edward Cullen? The one our dear Jongin made an impression of on national television? That vampire? That one?” Chanyeol says, giggling in amusement by himself.

“Shut up, hyung. Nobody asked.” Jongin shrugs Chanyeol’s forearm off his shoulder, apparently in his default state of annoyance with anyone who cares to remind him of that forsaken skit.

“It’s actually not bad.” Luhan muses, leaning over Jongdae to get a closer look at the photo currently in display. “Jongin looks like a dashing young renegade in search of money and true love and I just… look really hot.”

"You do look hot, noona." Jongin says, smiling sweetly when Luhan spins around to ruffle his hair that took at least ten minutes to do. 

Kyungsoo is curious enough to inch closer and study the photo in question, craning her neck over Baekhyun’s shoulder.

It looks straight out of a 90’s spy movie poster, a filmic collage of tuxedos and gold-plated revolvers. Jongin and Luhan are almost pressed up against each other, his fingers curled around the dipping curve of her tiny waist and her arm thrown loosely over his shoulders as they both eye-fuck the camera. The endless slit of Luhan’s dress reveals the pearly white skin of her thigh with a .45 tucked in the leg holster, that tapers down to a slim calf tensing from the black stilettos hooked around Jongin’s leg. 

They both look really hot, Kyungsoo summarizes, tearing her eyes bitterly from the screen.

“You look like James Bond’s archenemy who poisons people for amusement.” Jongdae tells Luhan. 

“Or one of those sex demons who’ll rape you in your sleep and pull out your tongue through your ass after they’re done with you.”

Minseok turns to Sehun with eyebrows fixed in a somewhat concerned line. “I worry about you sometimes.”

“Interesting, Sehunnie. Interesting.” Luhan pats Sehun’s head through his Fedora. 

“Let’s check out the individual shots.”

After a brief silence, there’s an eruption of voices that reverberates all the way to China. 

“OH MY GOD TAO.” Jongdae howls, hands on his waist as he convulses with laughter in his seat. 

“What, I think it’s alright.” Tao shrugs.

“Yeah, if implied fellatio is alright.” Yifan comments.

She loses her composure and starts flailing about. “How is this implied fellatio???”

“Tao-yah,” comes Baekhyun’s kind reply, “you’re practically giving that gun what looks like a really painful blowjob.” 

“I am not!” She turns to Joonmyun like a petulant child. “Tell them I’m not.”

“Hmm”. Joonmyun considers.

“Oh my god!” Tao takes a frightened step back, color draining from her face. She looks close to tears, eyes bugging out in panic.

“Don’t worry. Ralph Lauren wouldn’t put this here if they didn’t have good reason. You actually look really great.” Joonmyun says with a comforting voice, reaching out a hand likea parent coaxing a child to jump in the pool for the first time. Tao reluctantly takes the bait, eventually tucking her head into the curve of Joonmyun’s neck with a curl on her lips.

“Sex sells, people.” Baekhyun says. “Let’s move on.”

Another fleeting silence passes before there’s a general hum of approval and wonderment. 

“Kim Jongin looking extremely fuckable in a photo spread, tell me something I don’t know.” Baekhyun rolls her eyes. “Next.”

Jongdae snorts before clicking on another thumbnail. “Oh wow.”

“Wow.” Chanyeol echoes, breathless.

Baekhyun smirks at the monitor, pleased.

“Wooooow.” Yifan enunciates.

Sehun turns to Baekhyun. “You seem to be enjoying riding that machine gun.” 

“That gun and I have a very special relationship.” 

Jongdae howls with laughter while his head shakes, as though torn between disgust and limitless amusement. Chanyeol does not look amused, reaching out a hand over Jongdae to press on the scroll pad and another photo enlarges on the webpage. 

Everyone is stunned into silence.

“Daaaamn, Kyungsoo.” says Yixing, who has been silent this whole time.

Kyungsoo, alarmed, squeezes herself between Sehun and Yixing, who lets out a low whistle as she approaches.

She can’t help the contorted look of mortification as soon as she catches the sight on the screen. 

Said sight is herself in what must be one of the least dignified situations a female human being will ever have the misfortune of finding herself in. 

Her face is making some kind of attempt at a smolder, and the red lipstick makes her lips appear as if they’re having an allergic reaction. As if that’s not bad enough, her body is exposed in such a way that showcases more flesh than humanly necessary, legs spread apart as her chest juts forward.

Kyungsoo fretfully eyes the black shiny handgun perched suggestively between her thighs, and recoils.

“Step aside, Santa, Do Kyungsoo has come to town.” Baekhyun sing-songs, twirling a lock of hair with a finger. “Get it? Because we’re promoting Christmas Day.” 

“Merry Christmas indeed.” Yifan says.

“I don’t even wanna know what you mean by that.” Sehun mumbles with a little less displeasure and a little more curiosity. 

“Everyone still breathing back there?” Jongdae asks, tone meaningful, and Kyungsoo’s eyes narrow at the secretive smirk spreading on his lips.

“So wait – you’re a girl?” 

Someone smacks Sehun because he’s yelping behind Kyungsoo. “Jesus, Jongin-ah, that’s gonna bruise. Fuck.”

Without really giving it much thought, Kyungsoo’s head whips around and she catches Jongin, realizing he’s directly towering behind her. As usual, his face is distant and  
unreadable, masked by two layers of make-up and something else. She cracks a friendly smile for lack of anything else, not bothering to see how he reacts before turning her  
head back towards the screen. 

Tao whines. “How come I look like I’m administering a blowjob and Kyungsoo looks like an angel? Life is so unfair.”

“An angel? I look like a prostitute.” Kyungsoo says with no feeling. 

“I would pay for that prostitute.” Luhan says sweetly, making everyone collectively cringe.

“Watch Korea’s sweetheart Do Kyungsoo break hearts as she shocks the public with a provocative, daring image in Ralph Lauren’s latest cinematic ad campaign. Behind this young angelic face, is a budding woman discovering her sexuali–”

Kyungsoo makes a sound that's halfway between a bat screech and a whale moan. “Baekhyuuuun.”

Baekhyun looks up from her phone. “What, I’m just quoting Naver.”

“They did not say that.”

Baekhyun just continues to grin menacingly, as if she knows something they don’t. “Want me to show you the article? I’m sure Ryeowook-oppa has the link.”

“What has Ryeowookk-oppa got to do with this?”

“Because he’s the one who sent it to me. He’s probably foaming in the mouth as we speak.”

“Ryeowook-oppa, so typical.” Luhan scoffs. 

“I wouldn’t be surprised if Kyungsoo’s fanbase increased by tenfold by day’s end.” 

Kyungsoo rolls her eyes at Chanyeol. “That’s a bit too dramatic, don’t you think?”

“Sweeping declaration: Kyungsoo is the one.” Jongdae says. “I no longer question anyone who has ever chosen Kyungsoo as their ideal type. No longer do I question the indisputable taste of the gentlemen who - ”

“Name one person who says I'm their ideal type.” Kyungsoo trails off with a look of uneasiness in Baekhyun's direction, “And that’s a rhetorical statement, Baekhyun-ah, so don’t even think about –“

“Exhibit A,” Baekhyun cuts her off, “Ryeowook-oppa. Let’s face it. The guy practically has a shrine dedicated to you. Exhibit B, Minah. That girl totally wants to diddle your skittle.” 

Kyungsoo grimaces, blocking out the images. “Granted that’s true, did you really have to put it that way?” 

“Exhibit C,” Baekhyun moves on, ignoring her, “Let’s not forget the glorious day when Hyungsik popped a boner in front of the viewing public when you did that sexy dance on Immortal Song.”

“That was never proven.”

“Then why have I spent the last six months trying to get the image of Hyungsik’s tight trousers out of my head,” Jongdae says. “Trust me, it happened.”

“Exhibit D –”

“Okay, okay, stop, stop.” Kyungsoo raises her hands in surrender. “Fine whatever, I believe you. Just stop.“

Baekhyun makes a dramatic show of folding her arms across her chest with a little Cheshire grin on her face, triumphant.

Luhan tucks a lock of hair behind Kyungsoo’s ear, petting her lovingly. “Everyone wants a piece of my Kyungsoo.”

“Some more than others.” Jongdae murmurs under his breath, yipping when he gets hit in the arm by Sehun.

Before Jongdae can wage a revenge tactic, the door creaks open and one of the coordinators’ heads peeks in to remind them of the time. Joonmyun sends her a nod, nudging everyone else to break out. “We’ll continue this later.” Jongdae promises. “20K Won says Kris-hyung looks like a mafia leader who moonlights as a misunderstood blood-sucking emo teenager jaded by romance.” 

Sehun winks at him. “You’re on.”

(Kyungsoo fails to notice that Jongin has not said a single word the entire time.)

 

\--

 

The Christmas album promotions go by in a blur, with Kyungsoo barely having enough time to catch her breath before getting thrown back out into the stage with Baekhyun and Jongdae, both fazed and impressed by the efficiency with which their bodies can run on minimal sleep and half a bar of Ovaltine. She’s either napping on Jongdae’s shoulder on the car ride through Apgujeong or promoting, and nothing in between.

Occasionally Baekhyun takes two minutes out of their busy day to whine about the pain in her shoulders, but all it takes is for Chanyeol to send her a selfie of him and some dumb stuffed animal he found in the studio of whatever radio interview he’s currently at, and she’s back to bouncing around in her tiptoes and being generally pleased about life.

Kyungsoo, on the other hand, tries to be happy about the fact that they just conquered Music Bank for the third time that month. 

When the Christmas concert finally closes, everyone’s knees collectively buckle, painstakingly waiting for the three-day break they were so generously promised. 

Joonmyun has never looked happier to see the familiar black vans park smoothly outside the complex, smiling through the window with a little twinkle in his eyes. The dorm becomes a pandemonium of people bumping past each other and getting their stuff loaded in the trunk, with the exception of Luhan who’s bemoaning the lack of company on her paid overnight trip to Gwangju as others have made plans on their own, mostly going home to their families. Even Minseok cannot be persuaded to miss firework-shopping with his dad in exchange for an intimate steam bath with Luhan in the mountains.

“But I just want to watch the winter sunrise whilst getting a massage.” Luhan whines into Kyungsoo’s shoulder, clutching desperately onto the collars of her coat.

“And I just want a hulk vibrator for Christmas, but c’est la vie.” Baekhyun says somewhat distractedly, too busy bending down to peer under the beds. “Has anyone seen my glasses?”

“Why, Chanyeol ain’t big enough?” Luhan stops sulking long enough to throw Baekhyun a dirty grin.

Sehun, who’s in their room for some reason, stuffs a finger in each ear. “Lalalalalalala!”

“No.” Baekhyun gets up from the being crouched on the floor, giving up. “It’s just that three days is a long time to be apart. I want something to keep me entertained while he’s gone.”

“Lalalalalalala!”

Baekhyun reaches over to smack Sehun in the crotch, causing him to yelp. “Hey you. Be useful and carry my bags out for me. They’re the pretty ones.”

Sehun shoots her a petulant look. “Isn’t that what Chanyeol-hyung’s for?”

“No, that’s what bothersome, trespassing maknaes are for. Now get that pasty ass moving.”

“Vile woman!” Sehun yells once he’s out of the door, dragging Baekhyun’s overnight bags behind him.

“What about you?” Luhan asks Kyungsoo.

“What about me?”

“I can’t imagine spending New Year’s alone. It should be illegal.” 

Luhan and Baekhyun have been especially kind to her since the news of Kyungsoo’s solitude on New Year’s Eve came to light. Her parents, who have been living in their hoise by themselves for ten years since Kyungsoo’s brother moved out, decided to spend the New Year in Bali this year, an unexpected turn, which gives Kyungsoo no reason to go home, except maybe to mope in her childhood bedroom, which, well, she’d rather not.

“It’s not that bad. Three days without you won’t kill me.”

“I doubt it.” Luhan says with a pessimistic frown on her otherwise beaming face. “Why don’t you just go to Gwangju with me? We can eat boiled eggs by the hillside and braid each other’s hair.”

“Or tag along Tao and Sehun to Qingdao and crash their date. That could be fun.” suggests Baekhyun.

“I appreciate the concern but I don’t see a scenario where that could be, in any way, fun.” Kyungsoo says. “No, seriously. I’ll be fine. You don’t need to worry. I can look after the dorm and maybe clean up some.”

Luhan considers her with a pout for a long time, before sighing. “Fine, if you insist. But if I find your rotting corpse in one of the closets when I get back, I get to say ‘I told you so.’”

Kyungsoo sends them off, smiling as Yixing sticks his head out of the van window to blow her a kiss. She catches it and stuffs it inside the pocket of her coat. 

Kyungsoo is about to lock the main door, when she stops at a dark-clad figure standing at the doorstep. It’s Jongin, with a small luggage propped by his feet.

“You gave me a start.” She says, slapping a hand on her chest. “What are you still doing here? The vans already left.”

“I know.” Jongin admits, almost shyly.

“Then why – “

“I just – I heard that you’re not coming home this year.” She notices the uneasiness in his shoulders, bent forward at an awkward angle, giving him the appearance of a hesitant rabbit.

“Yeah, change of plans. The folks are going out of town.” Kyungsoo says, realizing that Jongin didn’t answer her question.

“So you’re spending New Year’s alone?”

“It’s not really as bad as it sounds.” She puts a little laugh in her voice. 

It doesn’t seem to relax Jongin any bit though, who looks deep in thought and lost somewhere outside of the conversation.

“What’s wrong?” Kyungsoo tries to read him, which hasn’t been easy lately, and half-panics (and half-something-else) when something dawns on her, “wait, you’re not thinking of staying back for me, are you?” 

“Huh?” Jongin blinks out of reverie. “What? No.” 

Kyungsoo tries not to feel disappointed and focuses on feeling embarrassed. “Oh.”

“I was,” Jongin begins, kicking one foot aimlessly at the floor, “actually wondering if you’d like to go to Busan with me.”

This time it’s Kyungsoo who blinks. “Excuse me, what?”

“I mean. If you’re interested.”

“You want me to come home with you.” She repeats, in case she didn’t catch that correctly.

“Yeah.” Jongin says, “I mean, you know, whatever. My mom adores you and my sister asks for you all the time, so it totally makes sense. I guess?”

Kyungsoo keeps her emotions at bay, even though her heart is threatening to break out of her ribcage. “Oh wow. That’s such a lovely offer and you know I’d love to, but New Years are kind of a family thing, and I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re right.” Jongin agrees too quickly, like he’s crazy for even considering it, curling up on himself like a chastised baby hedgehog. “I’m so silly.”

“You’re very sweet.” Kyungsoo corrects, and voices a silent wish that Jongin would insist. “Maybe next time, though?”

“Yeah,” Jongin keeps his eyes glued to the floor, “next time.”

On New Year’s Eve, her phone buzzes every three seconds with greetings from families and friends that come in various lengths and fashions, including an incoherent drunk dial from Baekhyun, a somber voice message from Luhan (who ended up babysitting her twin nephews), a photo-message from Tao of her and Sehun standing on the rocky shores of Qingdao arms around each other, and a series of bipolar text messages from Jongin.

“Wish you were here to see the fireworks. They’re beautiful just like you.”

“Oh my god oh my god I’m so sorry that was meant for someone else. Please ignore that.”

“Okay that wasn’t meant for someone else. I know why I said that. Sorry.”

“Sorry for lying, and sorry for being so fucking cheesy.”

“And sorry for swearing. ㅠ_ㅠ”

“Anyway… Happy new year, noona. Love you.”

Kyungsoo must have read the feed for about three thousand times in a span of two minutes, periodically choking on the mooncakes that Yixing sent all the way from Changsha. It shouldn’t be a big deal. It’s something that the entire group does on a regular basis, express open, unabashed love. That, however, doesn’t stop her heart from blasting like the fireworks display at the Seoul skyline currently being shown on the channel four news.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The quest to make Kyungsoo's life uncomfortable continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it. That's the plot.

Kyungsoo has probably woken up to worse, but nothing could have prepared her for the sight of two pajama-clad figures (Sehun and Tao – probably?) entangled in what can only be defined as an elaborate acrobatic sex position at six in the morning.

Wiping the sleep from her eyes with a vague hope that it’s all just a dream, she makes out Jongdae in one of the couches laughing sympathetically at whatever dumb joke Joonmyun is saying, impervious to anything else, as if it’s just any other day in the EXO household. 

As if it’s completely normal that two members are practically having sex on the carpet where they sometimes eat because Chanyeol is too stubborn to move the takeout boxes to the dining room like a normal person.

“What in the –” 

“Morning, Soo-soo.” Tao chirps from somewhere between Sehun’s legs, and Kyungsoo thinks it’s too early in the morning for anyone to sound so chipper, letting Soo-soo slide because there’s another time and place for that. Instead she makes a beeline for the couches, making sure to avoid the entwined, spidery lumps on the floor. 

“I would ask, but I’m not sure if I want to know.” She observes.

“Tao is teaching Sehun how to get rid of all his negative energies.” 

Luhan walks in with a smile that looks too unfairly pretty for someone who occasionally sneaks in showering members and snaps photos of them soaping their balls for future blackmail material, smelling a lot like cold coffee and Minseok. “It’s something we learned while we were visiting that tantric temple in Beijing. You remember the one.” She turns to Minseok, who trails after her and has an actual cup of coffee in hand. He smiles dreamily at whatever memory that conjured up, instantly blushing at the glint in Luhan’s eyes, and Kyungsoo realizes she doesn’t want to know. (Aren’t temples supposed to be sacred places unfit for 24-year-olds’ hormone-driven blasphemies?)

Instead she rubs the bridge of her nose, suddenly not feeling awake enough for this. “Well this is definitely new.”

“Hey maybe after Sehun, you could go next.” It takes Kyungsoo a while to figure out that Tao is talking to her, and that Luhan has squeezed herself next to her on the couch, her blonde hair tickling the side of Kyungsoo’s neck. “God knows you could use it.”

“No thanks, Zitao, I really don’t think – hey, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know what it means, sweetheart.” Luhan gives her a pristine smile, holding onto her hand in the process. Kyungsoo would fall for the touch if she wasn’t certain that Luhan is an immediate descendant of Satan disguised as a swan lake princess. 

“I don’t have negative energies, if that’s what you’re insinuating.” 

“So adorable.” Luhan coos as she squeezes Kyungsoo’s hand. She would flinch away but much to her dismay, the soft silk of Luhan’s night robe actually feels nice. “I say this with all the love in my heart, but if your negative energies could poop, they would poop more negative energies.” A beat after, she sadly hums “Love you,” wrapping a silk-clad arm around Kyungsoo.

“Who’s pooping what now?” 

Baekhyun bounces in, her fluffy penguin slippers making the annoying squeaky sound against the tiled floor that Kyungsoo has been trying to muffle in her head for months. (Maybe because the same pair of slippers makes the same squeaky sound against the washing machine while Baekhyun and Chanyeol are going at it like wild animals in the laundry room.)

“I don’t have negative energies.” Kyungsoo repeats to herself.

“Yeah, you do.” Baekhyun insists, falling on top of Kyungsoo and putting her feet up on Jongdae’s lap, causing Luhan to pout for a literal second and say “go get your own Kyungsoo” before she’s laughing at Baekhyun’s staged whisper of “It’s from all the sex she’s not having.” Apparently Baekhyun’s idea of a whisper is something that the entire dorm and at least three neighboring districts can hear.

Kyungsoo focuses her energy on tuning everything out and daydreaming about Baekhyun getting hit by a garbage truck.

“What’s that Korean proverb again? A healthy sex life does a happy person make.” Luhan says, interrupting Kyungsoo’s five seconds of heaven.

“No such proverb exists.” Kyungsoo claims.

“Hey guys, did you know semen is good for the body?” Baekhyun announces before she could finish protesting.

Joonmyun is interrupted mid-lecture about avocado being a legitimate vegetable, turning on his side so he can give Baekhyun a long, resigned look. “Typical EXO breakfast talk.” He mutters under his breath in a tone of long-suffering resignation that only the infinite patience of Kim Joonmyun can manage. Years of living with her have taught him to not just bother anymore. “Go on.”

“Yeah, supposed to be like a good source of proteins and all that healthy shit.”

“Come to think of it, I was just about to ask you why your skin’s been glowing so much lately.” Luhan gushes.

“It’s because I’m on an all-protein diet, bitch.” Baekhyun and Luhan share a high-five, their bony elbows intentionally hitting Kyungsoo’s chest and neck.

“Proteins don’t make your skin glow.” Kyungsoo says unhappily as a happy Baekhyun starts bouncing up and down her lap. 

“You wouldn’t know, Soo-soo, you’ve never had real meat.” She says with a wink, before Kyungsoo resists smacking a hand on Baekhyun’s gob but she figures physical violence will only result in more physical violence, and she’s not in the mood.

“Hey gang, what are we talking about?” Chanyeol chooses that moment to make his appearance, face blissfully innocent as he rubs his belly.

“Your jizz nourishing me.” Baekhyun swoons affectionately and slides out of Kyungsoo’s lap and into Chanyeol’s space. Chanyeol makes a punched-out sound that gets lodged in the back of his throat, eyes going wide at Baekhyun standing an inch from his chest. Everyone else, save for Luhan, who’s still beaming, makes a why-do-we-ever-let-Baekhyun-talk face in varying degrees of regret, Kyungsoo being the highest. 

“Now come on.” She tugs on Chanyeol’s hand and starts pulling him towards the hallway to the bedrooms. “I want my breakfast.”  
A dazed, wide-eyed Chanyeol follows.

Luhan applauds as they hear a door click shut, making Kyungsoo jump beside her. “I’m so happy for those two. Spare a thought for Chanyeol’s dick though. That thing must be chafed.”

Jongdae twitches out of the couch and puts his hands up in surrender. “NO! NOONA! NO! WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT CHANYEOL’S DICK! THAT’S THE LINE!” 

Joonmyun massages his temples with eyes closed and looks as if he’s concentrating on blocking out an impending migraine. Kyungsoo can only watch sympathetically.

And there she was thinking it was bad enough that it was general knowledge that Baekhyun and Chanyeol engage in weird, violent role plays sometimes.

Thankfully, everything simmers down after that.

Kyungsoo assumes that Sehun and Tao are finished with their weird, tantric sex meditation because they are just now lying side-by-side comparing birthmarks and giggling over a poop-shaped bruise on Sehun’s right hip. Kyungsoo also assumes that Sehun’s negative energies are all gone. 

Next to Kyungsoo, Luhan and Minseok are having a debate on which one makes the better coffee. It’s not so much an argument as an excuse to banter. Minseok has that dreamy look on his face again like Luhan hung the moon, and Luhan has that look like she wants to push Minseok’s face between her legs. The usual.

As if on cue, a shirtless Jongin wobbles into view, hair still mussed up from sleep and puffed cheeks dented with blanket crease marks. Kyungsoo has more than half a heart to reach out to him and ask if he’s hungry so she can scramble some eggs for him and make them slightly runny just like he likes, but he has only one eye open as he steps over Sehun and Tao on the floor and proceeds directly to the kitchen without sparing anyone in the room a glance.   
Even with the other six people in the room, Kyungsoo feels alone. 

\--

 

Sometimes, although not always, because she can’t allow herself to acknowledge it long enough to give it a name, Kyungsoo stays up late at night and stares unwaveringly up at the ceiling for minutes, sometimes hours, memorizing the patterns and shapeless shadows ghosting over white paint, when the room is peaceful and quiet save for Tao’s steady snoring the two beds away.

Partly she worries about messing up on their TV appearance for the next day, about stuttering during the individual introductions or accidentally addressing some members with their birth names (Suho is a stupid name that no living person should ever be called) but most of the midnight anxiety comes from a place within her that she doesn’t quite fully understand yet. This thing, this empty, sinking feeling, that. . . she has no one. 

Everyone else has their Someone. 

Baekhyun has Chanyeol, clear as day. They were the few ones that easily wormed their way into each other’s niches. One minute they were strangers expressing common love for unscrewing the brakes on Mr. Lee’s bicycle after he gave them ‘lacks focus’ on that month’s mid-term evaluation, the next they were piggyback-riding loudly through the busy corridors of the SM building between classes and causing a few eyebrows to rise. Since then, their afternoons were spent on the garden terraces with Baekhyun singing along to whatever Chanyeol’s strumming on his beat-up Fender. A year later, after their comeback, they decided they wanted benefits.

Minseok and Luhan, being some of the oldest in the bunch, found it prerequisite to stick with each other. Luhan was endlessly charming, making everyone around her fall in love with and hang onto every word of the faintly accented Korean and unexpected brutal humor, and even though Minseok had always been a subtle person, his fondness of her was always thrown out in the open like a giveaway he couldn’t simply keep to himself. Kyungsoo remembers Luhan joking some years ago under a tattered giant umbrella of a gochang standee two blocks away from the building, face extraordinarily serene despite the fact that it was at least a hundred degrees out, “I bet you 10,000 Won that you and I will debut together, because we’re meant to be,” pointing her wooden stick at Minseok, who just laughed and pretended not to choke on a sizable chunk of spicy pork intestine that was blocking his airway as Chanyeol mumbled something about mixed groups not being big on the market these days and can someone please give Minseok hyung some water. Kyungsoo never actually saw Minseok hand Luhan the cash a few years later, but she was sure it was the best 10,000 Won he’d ever spent.

Tao and Sehun did not have a single conversation until the first day of official introductions. Tao was the shy, giggly foreigner, despite everything about her that indicated otherwise, and Sehun was impervious to anything outside dance and his favorite pair of Air Jordans. Kyungsoo could be wrong, but it probably started around the time when everyone began teasing them about being the babies in the group and Baekhyun making detailed instructions to Kyungsoo how to knit Tao-tao and Hunnie a pair of matching bibs. Their mutual annoyance sealed everything. Under everyone’s noses, Tao and Sehun became soulmates. Sure, they didn’t hang out as much as Sehun and Jongin did, or had as many heart-to-heart talks as Sehun and Luhan did, but it was Sehun who took the initiative to do the dumbest things (like sticking his finger in a plugged-in toaster) whenever Tao missed home to distract her from loneliness and it was Tao who made Sehun laugh so hard he peed his shorts in public. 

They paired off in friendships and more-than-friendships. And that leaves Kyungsoo. With no one. 

She used to think that Jongin was her Someone, a long time ago, before this – this nameless uncomfortable thing they’ve fallen into that makes her stomach feel queasy, and not the good kind of queasy.

It didn’t always use to be like this. There was a time when Kyungsoo and Jongin could stay in the same room alone and not spontaneously suffocate from the awkwardness whirling thickly in the air, a time when he used to tell anyone within listening distance that “Kyungsoo-noona sings like an angel”, or stay up past midnight to watch American movies with her and fall asleep on the couch with his head perched on her lap, or linger in the kitchen and followed her around like an eager puppy waiting for his food, making her breath catch whenever he pressed too close behind her and reached around to dip a finger in the mixing bowl. 

A time when he could tell when she was having trouble with the routine like a sixth sense and invite her to hang back with him in the practice room as the others filed out, bodies slumped and hurting. It made her heart grow warm, the way Jongin was so unsuspecting of the fact she knew exactly the reason they were there, that it wasn’t because he was struck with a childish impulse to break the rules, but because he had to endure the sight of her ugly-crying one night after getting berated by their managers for not picking up the choreography fast enough. Kyungsoo indulged him, acting like her heart wasn’t dancing in time with the beat of his feet as she watched him perform the routine half-tempo, recklessly spellbound. It was usually when they’d trudge back to the dorm an hour later, with Jongin walking backwards under the moonlight so he could face her while they talked about random nonsense, that Kyungsoo entertained the possibility that she was in danger of falling in love with this moody and weirdly affectionate boy. It only seemed commonsense to bereave herself of the luxury to think of him in that light, but despite being skittish and broody and borderline antisocial, Jongin was persistently, stubbornly beautiful, and he made sure Kyungsoo noticed that.

Which people sometimes forget when he’s not Kai and thrusting into the air in tight pants, because they don’t know how Jongin’s bed hair is the sexiest thing in the world or how his smile always leaves Kyungsoo feeling a little lightheaded. Neither do they know that Jongin sometimes calls his mom in the middle of the night when he thinks everyone’s asleep, sniffing quietly against the mouthpiece before asking her to put the pups on so he could say good night, or that he secretly picks out the cucumber slices from Baekhyun’s dinner plate for her when she’s too preoccupied reaching across for Kyungsoo’s meat portions, or that when he gets so hyped up he starts hiccupping. Or how soft his hands are. Or how he steps out of the shower smelling like a tropical rainforest. Or how he once held Sehun’s hand all night when someone close from his family passed.

But Kyungsoo knew, oh yes she did, so she bathed in the special attention, and let him cling like a needy octopus-koala hybrid, never missing the way he would always say “where’s Kyungsoo-noona” first thing when he walked into a room. They had an understanding, kind of. 

Or so she thought.

She can’t place in her head the exact time he started drifting away. But before she could process it, he kept drifting and drifting some more, simultaneously digging himself a hole in Sehun’s personal space and leaving the one he’d practically jackhammered into Kyungsoo’s, until she can’t even recall the last movie they rebelliously watched together or the last time they stayed back an extra-hour in the practice room.

These are the things that keep Kyungsoo up at night sometimes. How her somewhat love story with Jongin ended without it having even started. Only sometimes, of course.   
Because Jongin and I are fine.

That’s the last lie she tells herself before Tao’s steady snoring completely lulls her to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for this, deeply.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Baekhyun's birthday, and all she wants is a simple party.
> 
> PS. Kyungsoo's life is still uncomfortable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY THAT THIS FIC IS SO CRACK-ISH
> 
> ACTUALLY SORRY THAT THIS FIC EVEN EXISTS

There is a kind of uneasy silence in the dorm so eerie and unnerving that every exhale of breath comes out almost deafening – the calm before the storm.

Jongdae is flinching every now and then, and Joonmyun would put a calming hand on his right knee if he wasn’t so busy burying a hole into the floor with a panicked, constipated glare. Only Kim Joonmyun could manage to look so pitiful whilst frowning. 

Just then, a door bangs open and Baekhyun twirls into sight, smile so wide and menacing she looks like she’s been sharpening her canines all night. Collective fists clench.

Jongin sinks further into Sehun and makes a small, terrified sound that cuts through the thick silence. 

“Everyone’s up early.” Baekhyun observes. “Special day, perhaps?”

“Be nice.” Joonmyun pleads. 

“Huh?” She has the decency to sound innocent, puppy eyes blinking cutely at them.

“Happy birthday.” Sehun says flatly.

“Oh, that’s right. It’s my birthday.” Then she smiles, eyes twinkling, and plops on the arm of the couch so that she’s leaning over Chanyeol, raising her legs up in the air and bumping her penguin slippers together. 

“I swear Baekhyun-ah, if one of us ends up on the roof in a chicken costume screaming ‘I’m a swan’ like last year, I am quitting the group and you’re losing the only member who speaks English.”

Minseok rubs a soothing hand on Yifan’s backside.

“Worst day of our lives, to be honest.” Chanyeol says.

“Touche.” agrees Jongin. 

“Wrong.” Sehun says after a disturbing strip of memory suddenly seemed to have come back to him. “Let’s not forget the week when all of their periods synced up.”

A collective shudder ripples through the room.

“I saw things.” Jongdae says. “Horrible, horrible things.”

“Hey!” protests Luhan half-heartedly. “In our defense,”

“What?” demands Yifan.

“Boys are dumb and gross.” She declares likes it’s an inevitable fact of science, and it would sound baseless and wrong, except Luhan is never wrong. 

“Amen, that.” says Tao.

Jongdae rolls his eyes, an act mirrored by every other person in the room who owns a penis and a wounded ego. “Point is, I personally don’t enjoy spending ten painful hours in a corset and fishnet stockings so Baekhyun can forget it.”

“Please, you looked hot in that corset. And don’t pretend that you didn’t enjoy calling Joonmyun-oppa ‘daddy’ all day.” Baekhyun sends Joonmyun a wink that has the self-empowered adult man making a choked sound that any self-empowered adult man shouldn’t be making. “But as tempting as it is to dress all of you bitches up in Frenchmaid costumes, especially you Kyungsoo, since let’s face it, those thighs would look fantastic in black stockings – ” 

“????”

“ – I’m actually thinking of going simple for my birthday this year.”

“I’m scared already.” Jongdae says.

“Define simple,” says Joonmyun, glancing at Jongdae with a worried expression.

“I don’t know,” Baekhyun shrugs, shoulder bumping against Chanyeol’s cheek, “throw a nice party or something. Maybe invite some friends. Dress all fancy and that.”

“Is this a trap?” asks Jongdae.

“Define nice.” orders Joonmyun, again, because this needs to be clarified.

Baekhyun laughs. “I’m a grown woman. You gotta hand me some credit.”

“Not after what happened last year.”

“Stop being such a whiny bitch, Shitao, you didn’t actually end up in jail, did you?” 

“I killed a lady!”

“So no cross-dressing then?”

“Or role-playing?”

“Or standing on the roof for 3 hours under the blazing sun and making a complete ass of yourself?”

Baekhyun shakes her head, ruffling Chanyeol’s sleep hair and smiling so earnestly her white canines are almost blinding. “Nah, I’m saving all of that for next year.”

 

\--

 

Nobody in EXO would tell you why there’s a noticeable burn mark above the mantel in the living room, or why there’s a large chip on the dragon headstone perched on the wall adjacent to the main entrance. Or why they’ve managed to break five porcelain bowls, two Chinas and three clay pots in six months. Or how they’re related to the fading scar just below Jongin’s ribs.

But if they could, they’d tell you they’re all the doings of Byun Baekhyun, who initiates impromptu food fights in the viewing room and encourages Chanyeol’s pyromaniac tendencies and sometimes riles up Yifan and Chanyeol so hard they end up playing basketball inside and breaking everything, including but not limited to Joonmyun’s heart. Behind the amiable, anodyne face, is a live firecracker that thrives on looking danger in the eyes and watching it uncoil and destroy everything in its path, everything being the souls and sense of morale of her bandmates. 

Baekhyun would be thrown out before sundown if she wasn’t so good at what she does, which is grabbing life by the dick and making people dance under her strings like her own personal puppets. One minute they’re aggressively shaking their head at her challenging them to eat a spoonful of cinnamon, and the next they’re crouched over the toilet spewing orange slime and questioning how the fuck were they coerced to make such terrible life decisions. Manipulative would be one way to describe her. Pathologically evil would be another. 

In the last three years, her danger streak has proven to reach its peak on her birthday. And precisely because it’s her birthday, it’d be a Herculean task to say no, while it should also be the easiest thing to do. Last year was traumatic. Simply put, provocative costumes and animal suits were involved, and a zombie Tao may or may not have scared a nice 72-year-old neighbor into a stroke.

“So you’re saying you just want a party.” enunciates Joonmyun slowly.

“Yes, oppa.” replies Baekhyun for what must have been the twenty-seventh time since the sun came up.

“A party. . .”

“Yes. . .”

“Not a crazy party where there could be half-naked oiled men tossing around firebolts and live rattlesnakes, but a party with normal people, who are normal, with normal clothes and normal problems.”

“. . .”

“. . .”

“Yes.”

“With normal music and normal food.”

“Yes.”

Joonmyun breathes out. “I can arrange that.”

“Thank you, there’s a reason you’re my favorite oppa, but don’t tell Yifan because he’ll throw a fit and the last thing I need is a 200-pound behemoth whining on my birthday.” Baekhyun places a kiss on Joonmyun’s cheek. He massages the spot with great care. 

“Anything else?”

“Oh,” she perks up, “I’d like a cake.”

“A traditional birthday cake or something with 16-round fireworks on it?”

Baekhyun sighs.

\--


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To no one's surprise, Kyungsoo is an emotional/ugly crier drunk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOPS. FAIL PORN AHEAD.
> 
> /APOLOGIZES PROFUSELY/

In the end, they decided to book a club for the party. Or rather, Joonmyun called some people who knew other people and arrangements were made. 

Kyungsoo has never been fond of parties. She thinks it should be so typical of her to not love the irritatingly loud music, or the tasteless way people fondle everything within fondling distance with sweaty hands that her father would be more than glad to feed to the caged lions at the zoo he works at, but really, she’s not particularly sold on the idea of having fun and socializing by sharing gratuitous amount of sweat with strangers and having to engage in a screaming match in order to have some semblance of a conversation. 

But of course, she’s not going to tell that to another soul while she’s alive, especially Baekhyun, who technically has no soul but has made more introverted virgin nun jokes in three years than anyone has ever had in a lifetime and has forced Kyungsoo every now and then to wear the kind of clothing that would make fathers weep, and tonight was no exception. Kyungsoo does not appreciate the way the material of the short black dress clings to her like second skin, and how it cuts so high up the thighs she can practically hear her father’s exclamations all the way from Kyeonggi-do. But Baekhyun was using the Power of the Pout, the divine iron clad of all Pouts, and call it magic or what, but Kyungsoo was emotionally compromised. 

Typically Baekhyun’s leers were lewd, her hand going straight for Kyungsoo’s ass and grabbing so hard Kyungsoo cried out Luhan’s name for help (Luhan, of all people) who just smashed her cheeks together and cooed. 

It shouldn’t be a big deal for any well-functioning 21-year-old female idol, but Kyungsoo, special little snowflake that she is, has specifically grown up on Sunday school and hand-knit sweaters, so seeing her in provocative clothing has always put the men in a kind of conflicted fascination, conflicted being the keyword. Which means Kyungsoo spent the 30-minute ride to the club blocking out Jongdae’s obligatory gargles of disbelief (“WHO IS THIS IMPOSTOR???”) and Sehun’s random “Noona, I think you gave Kkamjongie a stroke,” that immediately resulted in Sehun experiencing a near-death experience from the way Jongin’s arm locked around his neck in a chokehold. Kyungsoo’s consequent blush was almost mandatory, so is the introspective conclusion that she hates parties, and she hates tight clothes, and she hates people touching her inappropriately. 

But Baekhyun could also be right, that maybe it’s thoughts like these that contribute to the reason she’s still single and often mistaken for an asexual cactus. At least cactuses have thorns and can live in the dessert. Kyungsoo can’t stand five minutes under the sun without looking like a piece of burnt French bread.

She can’t care less about the matter, though, when the love of her life is currently being dragged by a leggy girl across the room and into her crowd of equally attractive and equally leggy friends, who look like life-size cutouts from one of Tao’s retro fashion magazines. With determined eyes, she stalks behind the pillar as leggy girl #1 introduces Jongin to the rest of the leggy girls, who all gush and bat their fake lashes at him like they don’t know Jongin absolutely hates those things. (“They look like burnt wings attached to your eyes, what’s to like?”)

Jongin is gallant enough to to grace their unworthy presence with a gentle smile, and Kyungsoo can hear their bras unclasp from where she’s standing. Which can be the only appropriate response, as a well-mannered Kim Jongin in a black Versace button-down with the sleeves rolled up is the most edible thing in the room. He makes a show of running his fingers through his hair, ruffling it into a windswept, unkempt perfection, and biting his lower lip in what Kyungsoo can read as a shy gesture as he (most likely) preens from one of the girls’ praise. Kim Jongin is used to having compliments thrown his way – he just has not figured out how to respond to them in a socially accepted manner yet.

One girl places a confident hand on his shoulder, and it’s obvious that the boldness of the touch has surprised him, more than it surprised Kyungsoo, if his widened eyes are anything to go by. And it’s so adorable how Jongin is just so shamelessly transparent, so free of bullshit. The girl is saying something, Kyungsoo can’t read her mouth from this angle, but she guesses it’s another compliment because Jongin is doing that bashful lip-bite thing again that makes her simultaneously want to drape a warm blanket over him and rip his clothes off.

“Really? You’ve stooped down to stalking level now?”

Kyungsoo jumps and lets out a relieved breath when she finds Baekhyun’s inebriated, kohl-rimmed eyes judging her from a foot away. Last time Kyungsoo saw her, she and Chanyeol were having one of their petty fights, Baekhyun naturally ending her every sentence with ‘but Birthday Girl gets everything’ and Chanyeol looking uncomfortable about the fact that they were doing their doing their antagonistic flirting ritual in a semi-public place.

“How can you just stand here and do nothing?”

Kyungsoo blushes and takes a long overdue sip of her drink, which is warm and watery now. She grimaces. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t treat me like I’m a fucking idiot. It’s insulting.” For someone bordering on hammered, Baekhyun shows exceptional skills in freezing Kyungsoo into a quiet state shock. 

There’s an ensuing stretch of silence that, to no one’s surprise, Baekhyun is the first one to break. “I’m neither blind nor stupid. I’ve seen the way you look at him. It would be cute if it wasn’t also so fucking annoying how blatant you are.” 

“Baekhyun, you’re drunk.” Though she’s not very sure anymore.

“And you’re a fucking coward, Kyungsoo. You’re a coward and you’re an idiot. And that’s not a good combination.”

“Excuse me?” 

“I may be a bit oblivious sometimes, but I know a hopeless case when I see one.”

Kyungsoo scoffs, feeling her hand tighten around her drink, which is so much like the way Baekhyun’s words are choking her gut right now. “Just go away.”

“Yeah, because that’s what you’re good at, isn’t it? Pushing people away.” Baekhyun laughs, and it’s hollow.

Kyungsoo never thought this day would ever come – the day that Byun Baekhyun, her self-proclaimed best friend, breaks her heart with the truth under the spasmodic gleam of the strobe lights. 

“It’s my birthday and you haven’t even greeted or hugged me once.” Baekhyun says after another silence stretches between them. In the midst of the rhythmic bass of the speakers and the cacophonic hums of voices blurring together, Kyungsoo can only listen to the stale sound of resentment playing under Baekhyun’s voice. Baekhyun is often charming and crazy, but sometimes, in isolated circumstances, Kyungsoo catches her like this – sad, and misunderstood. 

“So that’s it?” Kyungsoo humors her friend, hearing her voice crack and after two albums, it has never cracked so grotesquely, “you want a hug?”

Baekhyun sends her a grin, one that reveals her canines. “Never mind, I don’t take hugs from a coward.”

She slinks away and prances toward Jongin, interrupting a girl mid-sentence and making sure to disregard their existence entirely as she hooks a possessive arm around his and starts clinging to him with a pout on her lips. Jongin eventually excuses himself from the slightly displeased crowd and tags Baekhyun along with him.

Kyungsoo downs the rest of her drink and thinks, fuck it.

\--

By fuck it, Kyungsoo means leaving the party and maybe locking herself in the girls’ quarter to have a good cry, and then, if she stops wallowing in her misery long enough to enjoy a post-wallow laugh, perhaps watch funny Youtube videos of cats on Joonmyun’s computer afterwards, because she is pathetic with all pathetic qualities of a pathetic human being. 

She squeezes herself through the crowd with her arms clipped tightly to her chest to block any stray advances from the overly enthused bodies grinding in her path, and winces when she feels a large hand brush against the exposed skin of her thigh. Stupid dress and stupid Baekhyun, for forcing it on her, and basically for existing.

“Noona,” screams Sehun into her ear, his hand sliding up to her hip, “dance with me!”

“I was actually just about to leave.”

“But the cake! Heard Joonmyun-hyung had them put real firecrackers instead of candles!!! Gonna be insane!!! You can’t leave!”

“Where’s Tao anyway???”

“Doing body shots with Kris-hyung!!!” 

Kyungsoo would detect jealousy if she wasn’t dancing on the edge of tipsiness and self-pity.

“Come on, stay! With me!”  
“I’d love to stick around but –”

“Wait, you’re leaving?”

Kyungsoo sighs when another familiar voice shouts behind her. Yixing has a glazy-eyed Luhan in his arms, grinding blindly in time with the beat. Her head is lolled against the sturdy shoulder of the person pressed closely behind her, who is apparently Minseok.

“Is eonnie okay?” 

“She’s just had a few too much Absinthe, she’ll be fine.” replies Minseok. “Why are you heading out so early though?”

Before her mouth could form an excuse, Sehun heaves a disapproving sigh next to her. “You gotta be kidding me.” He mutters under his breath, as if he didn’t intend for anyone to hear. 

“What?” Kyungsoo has to hold her head up to look at him, and has an absentminded realization of how much Little Sehunnie has grown.

Wordlessly, his chin tips up in the direction of the lounge area. It’s almost empty, what with most of the guests migrating to the dance floor, save for Baekhyun and Jongin who are engaged in what appears to be a heavy make-out session on one of the plush couches. 

Yixing lets out a low whistle. 

Kyungsoo hears nothing at this point, because as far as she’s concerned, the world has narrowed down to Baekhyun biting into Jongin’s lower lip and sucking it into her mouth, and her long, tapered fingers buried into the coarse strands of his blonde hair. 

“Well what do you know?” says Luhan, who’s more or less sixty per cent conscious now, smashing Kyungsoo’s reverie, “Birthday girl does get everything.” Then she mutters something in Mandarin, her tone thick and lidded with meaning, causing Yixing to chuckle lowly into her neck. 

“I need to motor.” says Kyungsoo finally, remembering that she can’t stay in this place for any second longer, otherwise it’s just self-mutilation.

“You need someone to go with?” asks Sehun, and she notes something in his voice that makes her gape up at him, before she’s shaking her head. 

Fuck it, for real this time.

 

\--

 

Kyungsoo may be pathetic sometimes, but she’s also very self-aware. She knows that the high-note adlibs for the next demo will not be given to her because Baekhyun has a ridiculous range that she can’t match no matter how many vocal exercises she does in secret and how much ginger tea she drinks before bed, just like she knows the choreographer puts her behind Luhan and Tao because they don’t slouch or trip as much, maybe not even at all. Just like she knows the only reason they bother inviting her to a night-out is because of the commanding glare Luhan sends them over her shoulder, even though they know with positive certainty that Kyungsoo will decline and spend the night in bed with a plate of warm cookies.

She also knows the fans’ comments on candid photos of her and Jongin at pre-boarding areas, of them sharing earphones, of her reaching over to feed a potato chip into his mouth; how they call her names like ‘undeserving fat bitch’ that make her heart twist even if she knows nothing of these people for their opinions to matter.

She’s aware of these things, carries the knowledge day in and day out. It hasn’t made her as bitter as one would expect, but times like this, when she’s reminded that in a world like this, she can’t have Jongin, because she’s just not good enough, not limber enough, not sweet enough, not open enough, the frustration comes so heavy and real it balloons inside her chest until there’s no more space to breathe. 

And before she can process what’s happening long enough to stop it, she breaks down, fat salty tears stinging her eyes and rolling down her cheeks, her tireless lungs gasping for air against the soft material of the couch pillow, as she heaves and pours out years of pent-up insecurities through painful sobs that shake and wreck every muscle in her body. It’s so ridiculous, she’s so ridiculous but she can’t make it stop. 

“Noona?”

She lifts her head from the pillow, stray tears rolling down the side of her face where a few strands of dyed hair have stuck. There’s a fifty per cent chance she’s experiencing sadness-induced hallucination, because there is no way Kim Jongin is standing in the doorway of the girls’ quarters looking excruciatingly sober and sad.

“What are you doing here?” She croaks out, voice raspy from all the crying. There are a million questions running through her head and threatening to spill out of her mouth but she swallows them down.

“To be honest,” Jongin begins, before cutting himself with a bite on his lower lip. His shoulders are slumped, the top buttons of his shirt undone, and Kyungsoo can’t look away.

“I hated the party.” He admits in a small voice, eyes cast down. “Are you okay?”

Kyungsoo can imagine the puffy eyes and runny nose and wet cheeks and all things considered, this may not be the best condition that Jongin has ever caught her in. She surprises herself by shaking her head.

“What’s wrong? What happened?”

Maybe it’s the effortless concern in Jongin’s voice, or the softness in his eyes, maybe it’s the irony of the question, but Kyungsoo feels the start of the familiar rumble in her chest crawling its way up to her throat, before she’s sputtering out these wrecked little sobs that make her throat ache and her shoulders heave.

She doesn’t realize that Jongin has crossed the room in long, urgent strides until she feels the dip of the couch next to her and gets a whiff of the faint heady scent of his cologne. Right then, she decides that Jongin isn’t just a figment created in the throes of sadness and desperation, because there’s no way that the warm, solid hand landing on her shoulder isn’t real.

She dares look up, taking a long, teary-eyed glimpse of his face, and it’s like all the strings and knots have come undone. She can feel it, the tingly, freeing sensation of her reservations slowly melting away, before she’s leaning forward to close the gap between them.

It’s not momentous or romantic, how their noses bump so hard before their lips could touch that they’re both flinching away from the pain and shock. For some reason, Jongin finds this amusing and not at all embarrassing because he’s stifling a surprised laugh with his fist, while Kyungsoo wants to crawl under the couch cushions and die.

She hides her face in her hands, probably keeping it there for eternity, and whines when relentless fingers gently pry them off. “Hey,” comes a warm, apologetic voice.

“I’m a fucking mess.” She admits as soon as her hands come off, and she can see Jongin’s face studying her. 

“You just cursed.” He notes idly with a lazy smile. “You never curse.”

“I curse a lot in my head.” She snaps, for lack of anything useful to say. “I kill off a lot of people too, just so you know.”

Another giggle escapes him. “Sorry.” He says to the tiny glare she shoots him then, “You’re just really adorable sometimes, especially when you’re making threats.”

“I’m not adorable.” She spits out. “I’m a big fucking mess.”

Jongin’s eyes turn soft at that, all trace of lighthearted humor gone. “Kyungs– hey, no,” he pauses, “You’re not a mess.”

When he’s met with a cynic stare, he says, ”you’re amazing.” 

Something in Jongin’s voice makes Kyungsoo gulp and look away, so sincere and so painfully earnest. She chews on her lower lip and keeps her silence, all the words disintegrating in her brain before they could reach her tongue, because what do you even say to that. 

“I’d quite like to kiss you.” Jongin whispers, and Kyungsoo’s eyes snap up, probably doing that unattractive owl thing, and he looks like he’s not breathing, blushing when Kyungsoo keeps their gazes locked, “properly,” he adds, “If that’s okay.”

She stiffens at the warm hand suddenly sliding into the sensitive skin of her neck, gripping firmly but gently into the soft curve. Jongin keeps it there for a while, scooting closer so that there’s no confusion as to what his intentions are, as to what he’s about to do, giving Kyungsoo an opportunity to run.

Kyungsoo would be shy about it, but she’s been dreaming of finding out what Jongin’s mouth tastes like for years, has been touching herself under the warm water of the shower to the thought of his mouth sliding against her body, so she just makes a pleased little hum when he grabs her face towards his and their mouths collide. It’s chaste and unhurried, with just their mouths pressed nicely against each other. Jongin’s lips are soft, almost pillowy, and they smell like strawberries, probably from the fruity drink Chanyeol slid into his hand earlier. 

Her arms loop around his neck as Jongin starts to tilt his head and moves deeper into it, mouth coaxing hers open, and she sighs at the tiny zing in her spine when their tongues meet and curl easily into each other. 

“Is this alright?” Jongin pulls their mouths apart long enough to give her time to breathe, and maybe decide if this is a good idea. There’s a little flush in his cheeks that she wants to lick away and it takes every fiber of willpower not to respond with a violent ‘fuck yes’ in bold letters. She nods instead.

Kyungsoo doesn’t miss the small, fleeting smile that pulls up the corner of his lips until it’s gone and he’s leaning forward again. It makes her chest ache to know that Jongin actually wants this, maybe not as much as she does, but wants it nevertheless. 

The kiss falls into a languid rhythm, Kyungsoo making little shy licks at Jongin’s mouth and just tasting whatever her tongue can reach, but it quickly morphs into something hurried and frantic, because Do Kyungsoo is apparently a depraved, lovelorn slut who wants too much too fast, no longer bothering with pretense as she allows herself to gnaw and bite, to taste any trace of possibility that Jongin might feel the same, that this isn’t just some one-time kiss that they’re going to forget and laugh about tomorrow. 

Her hips give a tiny involuntary jerk when he sucks her lower lip into his mouth. The sudden desperation swooping in her chest makes her bite down on Jongin’s lip a little too hard that has him whimpering then chuckling softly against her parted mouth, breathing “easy, noona”. She files her embarrassment for later, because no, Kyungsoo doesn’t want to stop. Kyungsoo wants to kiss.

With half-mast eyes, she mumbles, “sorry, sorry,” blindly leaning in for Jongin’s mouth, and she knows how absolutely intoxicated she looks, but shame is a luxury she cannot afford under the given circumstances, because this is wonderful, more wonderful than she’d worked out in her head, even with the gross feeling of drying tears clinging on her cheeks. Jongin indulges Kyungsoo by letting her latch onto his mouth like a ravenous animal and slot their tongues together, making a little pleased sound when she flicks her tongue into the roof of his mouth, his strong hand falling to her waist to grab her body towards his. 

Lust takes over all inhibitions as her thighs easily part for him, a rush of blood rushing between her legs when she’s hoisted up onto his lap. She hikes her dress up further so she can properly straddle him, so that nothing but the thin material of her panties and his jeans separate them. 

“Ah, shit.” She gasps, because that’s Kim Jongin’s hard-on pressing into her bare hip.

“I’m sorry.” Jongin sputters, blushing cutely and making a futile attempt to jerk his hips away, even though they both know there’s nowhere to run now that Kyungsoo’s legs have him pinned on the couch.

“It’s okay.” She says before crushing their mouths together, hips rolling forward. Jongin makes a shocked little noise in his throat and she makes sure to do it again.   
Kyungsoo’s breath hitches when Jongin’s mouth travel to the outline of her jaw, licking and nibbling and she tilts her head further back to give him more access. He brushes his lips down, down, down to the hollow of her neck to suck at the flushed skin, leaving bruises that send her hips rocking against him. 

“I wanna fuck myself on your cock.” She blurts out in a near-cry before clamping a hand over her mouth, absolutely mortified by the loss of brain-to-mouth filter.   
Jongin’s eyes go wide in shock, before he’s tugging her hand off and nuzzling their noses together. “Shit noona, what happened to you?”

Kyungsoo wants to ask the same but her mind is spinning from the proximity, from the promise of having Jongin for the night, so the place of reason has become a murky, unreliable ground. “Make love to me.” She whispers into his mouth like she’s telling him her biggest, dirtiest secret. 

“Oh wow.” He gulps.

“Right here, right now. Please, Jongin. Please.” Arousal, apparently, turns Kyungsoo into a begging sex fiend.

Jongin’s hands graze down from her waist and stop at the mounds of her ass, digging into the soft flesh and making her hiss at the unexpected swell of pleasure building at the base of her spine. She takes it as a yes, scrambling off Jongin and into her feet a little less gracefully than she would’ve wanted, and slides her underwear down her legs. Jongin’s jaw drops as he watches the material get tossed onto the couch, eyes shifting back to Kyungsoo in a naked state of awe. 

She climbs back onto his lap, hyperaware of the choked gasp tumbling out of Jongin’s mouth as his enlarged eyes follow her every move.

“Touch me.” She says, reaching to grab Jongin’s hand and taking it between her legs.

“Oh God.” He breathes out, foggy eyes gaping at the spot where their entwined hands have disappeared under the tight material of Kyungsoo’s dress.

She starts grinding on their joint fingers, an embarrassingly animalistic sound escaping her mouth when Jongin’s knuckles stumble upon her clit. She draws her hand back, bracing it on his shoulder for support.

Jongin distracts her with sloppy, openmouthed kisses, fingers working and brushing against the spot that makes her vision swim. He pushes one finger in easily, then two, curling them inside her walls just right so she’s sobbing and twitching furiously into his hand, her noises swallowed conveniently by his mouth. She wonders vaguely where Jongin learned to use his fingers like that. 

The bulge pressing into her hip is distracting so she leans back a bit and starts undoing his belt. Her hips do not relent, thoughtlessly rutting against the thumb on her clit and against the longer fingers twisting and making come-hither motions inside her, while her own fingers are pushing past the waistband of Jongin’s underwear to grip his cock.   
Her breath catches as soon as it comes into plain view. It looks big in her hand, beautiful and so, so thick her walls clench involuntarily at the sight. Midnight fantasies under the covers do not do it justice. 

Contrary to Baekhyun’s self-imposed beliefs, Kyungsoo is not, in fact, a virgin. She and Hyunsik fooled around the summer before senior year, but the sex was forgettable. It hurt, then felt good for a brief moment, and that’s all Kyungsoo remembers of it. 

But everything right now is unfamiliar territory, from the long, deft fingers working inside her, to the gorgeous pink cock leaking in her hand. She gives it an experimental tug, dragging her fingers from the base to the tip. Jongin’s hips buck up into her fist instinctively, a guttural ‘fuck’ leaving his mouth, while his other hand buries itself into the tender flesh of Kyungsoo’s thigh. 

She watches with breathless interest the way the plump head moistens when she squeezes a little too hard, studying closely as it peeks out from tight ring of her hand. Her mouth waters, hips finally catching up and urging the steady fingers that have forgotten to move inside her. 

Maybe it’s the dizzying arousal taking away every ounce of humility she always thought she had, or the ecstatic sensation moving in circles inside her chest, but before she could lean back and think better of it, she’s swiping her thumb across the head to gather some of the moisture and lifting it to her mouth, moaning as soon as the salty-sweet taste falls on her tongue. 

“Nghh.” observes Jongin weakly, looking up at her with unfocused eyes. 

“You taste amazing.” Kyungsoo admits with a little blush, pushing up on her knees and yanking Jongin’s fingers from under her. She holds his cock by the base and aligns it to her throbbing clit. A shocked whimper rips from her lungs, because god, it’s so good, so so good that her vision blurs for a second. “Feels amazing, too.” She gasps out.

She rolls his hips back and forth, gliding easily along his shaft, gasps when the cockhead catches against her swollen nub. 

It’s when their eyes meet in the midst of hazy pleasure that she guides him into her entrance, never breaking eye contact. Her eyes squeeze shut as she keeps the “I love you” locked behind the bars of her teeth, struck by the overwhelming realization that she’s about to have sex with Kim Jongin, the man she’s been pining over for the most important years of her life. She stays hovered above him so only the blunt head of his cock is nudging into her. 

“Wait.” Jongin warns, voice a mix of arousal and confusion, and Kyungsoo stiffens, something akin to disappointment uncoiling in her gut. Maybe she had it wrong, maybe Jongin doesn’t want to do this as much as she – “We don’t have a…”

Kyungsoo visibly relaxes when she catches his meaning. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” 

Kyungsoo pretends to hesitate before saying, “I don’t really mind.” Mothering Jongin’s child wouldn’t be the worst thing, she thinks. And proceeds to chastising herself because this is how unwanted pregnancies happen, Kyungsoo, because people can’t keep their stupid hormones (and their stupid romantic feelings) in check.

“You don’t?” Kyungsoo thinks it’s cute and wrong how Jongin looks like an endeared puppy when she’s practically balancing on his cock. 

This is so irresponsible, she knows, but she’s seconds away from having what appears to be the most sensational experience of her life, and with the way Jongin is watching her right now, with something like amazement and fondness, she decides he’s worth the risk. “Do you mind?”

He doesn’t object so with a deep breath she braces her hands against his shoulders and slowly lowers down on his length, sheathing him, unable to help the little surprised cry that tears from her throat as his girth splits her open, the dizzying mixture of pain and pleasure punching through her gut. “Ahhh!”

“Noona, careful.” Jongin mouths against her neck, and it’s clear from the little tremor in his voice that it’s taking every ounce of his self-control not to thrust up into her. His arms come around her waist, grounding her, telling her that it’s okay, he’s got her. It helps.

She rocks against him just the tiniest bit, getting accustomed to his size. It’s been so long and she’s so out of practice.

She takes one long exhale before bringing herself up, wincing at the harsh drag of his cock, before slamming back down. 

“Holy mother of –” Jongin mutters helplessly, and Kyungsoo places a chaste kiss on his forehead before she could catch herself. 

She starts a rhythm that’s convenient for the both for them, slow and deep. Her mouth falls open, head tilting back and Jongin takes advantage of the angle and starts peppering her neck with wet kisses, bites angrily into the skin when Kyungsoo wriggles her hips and her muscles flutter around his cock like they don’t want to let go, because if she’s honest with herself, she wants to stay here forever, in Jongin’s arms, with his cock curved perfectly inside her. 

Soon enough, she’s riding him properly, hands on his chest as she bounces up and down his length, and each punched-out breath trails off with a cry. Then she leans back, detaching her neck from his mouth, and rolls her hips in little teasing circles to watch Jongin’s eyes roll to the back of his head. 

“F-fuck.” He whines, head falling back to the couch. With glazed eyes and a parted mouth, he watches with quiet captivation where their bodies meet, where Kyungsoo’s dress is bunched up so high that he can see how her little cunt is stretched obscenely around his cock. 

And it feels good, so good, when Jongin’s hips finally lift off the couch and thrust up into Kyungsoo that her mind completely whites out.

“Oh, oh, Jongin-ah.” She topples forward and trembles as the tip of Jongin’s cock grazes that special spot inside her.

Kyungsoo has never felt anything like this before, so out of mind with pleasure that for one liberating moment her mind goes blank and lets her body move and thrust to seek the carnal gratification it needs, until she’s wailing and keening when her orgasm crashes over her in crests, stealing her breath as white light explodes behind her eyes. She’s not done riding the last tremor out of her body when she’s being lifted off his lap and thrown on the other end of the couch so she’s landing harshly on her back.

Jongin gets on his knees and crawls between her legs, one hand braced on the couch to support his weight and the other reaching between their bodies to guide himself back inside her, modesty all gone. She arches and claws at his shoulders, lifting a shaky leg to wrap around his waist. He jackrabbits into her, letting blind, mindless lust dictate the speed and depth of his thrusts, and all Kyungsoo can do is writhe and thrash beneath him, mind reeling at the thought of coming for the second time. 

Her next climax slams through her so hard that she’s flying off the couch and quivering feverishly around him with a broken scream that trails off into an incredulous squeak. Jongin lifts his head to shoot her a fascinated look like he can’t believe it himself, ruts into her one, two, three more times before he stills inside her and lets out a little drawn-out grunt. 

It’s like every bone and muscle in Jongin’s body mutinies all at once, collapsing on top of her. They pant in tandem, catching their breaths, before settling into a silence and reveling in the euphoric haze that settles over them. The weight on top of her is heavy, but she doesn’t mind.

“Wow.” He breathes. “That was…” He takes another breath. “Wow.”

Kyungsoo agrees by threading her fingers through the sweaty strands of his tousled hair, a touch to assure him that whatever happened a few minutes ago isn’t something she’ll be regretting soon, even though she has every reason to. 

Kyungsoo expects things to be awkward again now that they don’t have wild libidinal urges to cloud their judgment and shatter their heads, but the way Jongin’s head rests on her chest and the way Kyungsoo’s leg curves around his is almost natural.

“Hmm, feels nice.” he hums, settling more comfortably on top of her. “Can I sleep here?”

“Here-here?” Kyungsoo asks, “Or… here?”

She can feel the vibration of Jongin’s exhausted chuckle. “Here, on top of you. You’re very comfortable.”

Kyungsoo kicks lightly where their legs are entangled at the end of the couch. “Are you saying I’m fat?”

“I’m saying you’re comfortable.” He says with a hint of amusement. “So can I?”

“I’m not sure. I can’t feel my legs.”

“You know what that means right?” There’s a playful tone in his voice that Kyungsoo doesn’t miss. 

“What?” 

“It means you just had mind-blowing sex.”

“Or a terrible fall.” She counters bluntly.

“Trust me, it’s mind-blowing sex.”

“Please.” She scoffs. “It was average at best.”

His chest rumbles against her waist with another chuckle. “You’d have me convinced if you weren’t screaming like a banshee.”

Kyungsoo slaps him weakly on the shoulder, glad that they could still banter after everything. “Yah...”

Another comfortable silence falls, and Kyungsoo wonders if this is what Baekhyun and Chanyeol have to endure every time, this burning need to give name to the shapeless, post-coital emotions swirling in the quiet air. Regret, hope, hurt, friendship, heartbreak, love. 

Then again, Baekhyun isn’t a sad, self-destructive soul imprisoned in the misfortunes of unrequited love.

Kyungsoo’s eyes start to flutter close, giving in to the exhaustion tugging her eyelids down, when they’re caught halfway by Jongin’s whisper.

“This isn’t a dream, is it?” 

Kyungsoo’s eyes are wedged open. “Hmm?”

“I’m not dreaming?”

“Why would you think you’re dreaming?” She makes the dumb mistake of bringing her eyes down to look at him, but all that gapes back at her is a mop of disheveled blond hair. 

Jongin is quiet when he mutters, “because it’s too good to be true.”

Kyungsoo is definitely fully awake now. “What?”

“Never mind. Forget I said anything.”

“Jongin-ah.”

“Good night, noona.”

 

\--

 

Somewhere in the quiet hours of dawn, Jongin rouses from sleep and slides Kyungsoo’s underwear back on her carefully, trying to make as little movement as he can so as not to wake her. He’s motionless afterwards, just leaning over her sleeping form, then whispers ‘fuck it’ before planting a soft kiss on the corner of Kyungsoo’s mouth. Kyungsoo pretends to be deep in slumber as she watches him walk away and slide noiselessly out of the door.

 

\--


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The quest to make Kyungsoo's life uncomfortable resumes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POSSIBLY THE LAST CHAPTER THANK GOD
> 
> I AM SO SORRY AGAIN. LET'S REJOICE.

Kyungsoo wakes up to the smell of coffee and a shrill rendition of ‘I Will Survive’ coming from the kitchen, which means Baekhyun is already awake, which means it’s way too late in the morning to still be in bed, or in this particular case, couch, and possibly a puddle of anguish and self-loathing.

She’s inclined to believe that last night was a dream, except every sore and aching muscle in her body is screaming otherwise, which provides two possibilities: a.) sex with Jongin did, in fact, occur, or b.) she somehow got in a nonconsensual wrestling match with Tao and blacked out after. And because possibility A is more likely, since she has no memory of going home with Tao last night, she wakes up not only with a steadily rising urge to vomit and die, but also with the realization that she is an idiot with an unhealthy self-control. 

Now that she’s not overcome with raging lust, she gathers with profound clarity that is sex not only painful, but it also turns her into a grossly embarrassing human being, more grossly embarrassing than most. 

She thanks every holy deity out there for not having any scheduled appearance today, because she doesn’t have the energy to face Jongin and the optimism to do anything besides mope and feel sorry for herself for the next twenty-four hours. 

With an unforgiving grumble, she drags herself off the couch and limps to the bathroom to sulk, because that’s what grossly embarrassing humans do.

She leans against the sink, vivid memories of her begging and moaning replaying in her mind that she hopes she can wash off with Joonmyun’s Italian organic soap, and directs her eyes down so she can give her groin a long, condemning look. “I hate you.”

Just then the bathroom door swings open and Tao shuffles in, face lighting up at the sight of Kyungsoo talking to her vagina, like it’s normal. “Morning, Soo-soo.”

Kyungsoo sighs weakly. “For the last time, Zitao, stop calli– ”

“OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR NECK WERE YOU ATTACKED BY AN ANIMAL OH MY GOD EONNIE WE NEED TO GET YOU TO A DOCTOR!!!!!”

She shoots Tao a confused look before lifting her head to get a good look in the mirror. A creeping sense of dread takes over as her eyes go wide at the unmistakable blotches scattered across the expanse of her neck like dead, purple constellations. 

“OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONES ON YOUR THIGHS TOO!!!”

Kyungsoo winces. “Zitao, I’m fine. Please keep your voice down before the others hea– ”

“What the hell is the ruckus all about?” 

Baekhyun’s head pops in and Kyungsoo grumbles, deciding that this is not her day.

“SOO-EONNIE HAS SOME KIND OF SKIN ALLERGY OR SOMETHING!”

Baekhyun’s vision focuses on Kyungsoo, catching something that makes her stop and the light in her eyes changes with something like recognition. She steps inside and closes the door behind her.

“Oh Soo-soo, you naughty girl.” She purrs, ambling over. “These, my innocent flower,” She tells Tao, “are not allergies. They’re hickeys, which means our young grasshopper was up to something last night. Weren’t you?” 

Kyungsoo doesn’t move, striving to keep her face neutral.

“You’re still wearing last night’s dress, too, I see.” 

She freezes in place as Baekhyun circles around her like a jungle cat about to have her first catch of the day.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say this has something to do with Jongin sneaking into the boys’ quarter in the wee hours of the morning earlier.”

Betraying her colossally for the umpteenth time in the last twenty-one years, Kyungsoo’s cheeks flare up.

“No way.” Baekhyun gawks, as realization dawns on her face. “No fucking way.” 

Apparently Kyungsoo’s silence serves as confirmation because Baekhyun is laughing – if laugh is what you would call the demonic sound coming out of her mouth. “Fantastic. Jongdae owes me 50,000 Won.”

“What?”

“HEY JONGDAE COME HERE!!!!”

They hear footsteps approaching before the door opens and Jongdae appears, peering in curiously. “What?”

“Kyungsoo’s neck, check it.”

Jongdae takes in Kyungsoo’s appearance and does a double-take. “Holy shit, Kyung. Were you mauled by a bear or something?”

“No, Sir, I believe this handiwork may have been the doing of one Kim Jongin, so you owe me pedicure money.” 

“Wait a second, you made bet on us?” Much to Kyungsoo’s dislike, nobody in the room seems to be keen on responding with a helpful answer. 

“No way,” Jongdae shakes his head, still in disbelief, “you and Jongin…?”

Kyungsoo is shot right back to silence. 

“Does that mean he finally confessed his undying devotion to you?”

Kyungsoo can feel a strange jolt go through her and it’s a possibility that her eyes have loosened from their sockets, although she can’t be too sure what with her heart suddenly beating a mile per hour. “Wait – wait – what.”

“ARE YOU SURE THEY’RE NOT INSECT BITES???”

“Oh, Jongin.” Jongdae beams dreamily, ignoring Kyungsoo and her impending heart attack altogether. “Son of a bitch finally did it. HEY SEHUN-AH, COME HERE!!! YOU WON’T BELIEVE THIS!”

“No please, stop sending people in!” Kyungsoo stomps her foot in frustration, soul gradually corroding with the steady proliferation of embarrassment. 

Three seconds later, Sehun comes bouncing in, too hyper at seven in the morning. “This better be good. It smells like feminine wash in here.”

“Jongin finally confessed.” Jongdae announces amusedly.

“He fucking did not.” Sehun snaps, eyes shining with skepticism. 

“Tell that to the hickeys on Kyungsoo’s neck.” says Baekhyun arrogantly.

Sehun takes one good look at her. “What.”

Kyungsoo's shoulders slump.

“Are those really?” Sehun walks up to Kyungsoo and starts poking the sensitive dots on her neck. Kyungsoo flinches at the sting, dodging his fingers weakly. “Are you sure this isn’t the work of a starving wildbeast? Or a vampire?”

“THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING! VAMPIRE BITES!”

“Shut up and go put on your bib, Shitao.”

“Did somebody say vampire bites? And why are we all in the girls’ shower room?”

“Yeol!” Baekhyun cheers at the sudden sight of Chanyeol’s head poking in, “Look! Jongin and Kyungsoo finally hooked up. You owe me two rounds of shower sex.”

Chanyeol continues to gape at Kyungsoo. 

“It’s a good day for everyone.” Baekhyun sighs happily.

”Jongin and Kyungsoo did what?”

“Oh good, you’re just in time. Kyungsoo-yah, tell Luhan how you and Jongin totally boinked like rabbits last night.”

Kyungsoo sighs deeply, resisting the urge to cry and melt through the floor, which isn’t doing much to hold her up. She idly prays that Jongin will never have to wake up to this, or a meteor crash-lands outside their window and pulverizes Baekhyun’s existence. Either or.

Luhan could be another problem, eyes narrowing with wonder as she considers the marks on Kyungsoo’s neck “Hmm, impressive.” She pauses for a heart-stopping moment, then a smile stretches across her face, slow and deliberate. “Minseok, come here! Jongin finally confessed! You said it would never happen but my money knew better!”

“OKAY THAT’S IT! EVERYBODY QUIET!” Kyungsoo screams and all movements freeze into a dramatic halt. “Jongin did NOT confess.” She adds more quietly. 

“What.” Baekhyun deadpans. 

Sehun shakes his head. “I knew it. It was too good to be true.”

“So who gave you those?” asks Luhan, one manicured finger pointing somewhere in the vicinity of Kyungsoo’s neck.

“Jongin.” replies Kyungsoo steadily. “But – ” She interrupts Tao mid-gasp, “but there was no confession of any kind.”

“Oops.” Luhan quips. 

“So you agreed to bang Jongin under no promise of emotional benefits?” Baekhyun asks.

Kyungsoo answers them with silence, which apparently means yes when you’re a long-suffering human being full misery and regret.

“Proud of you.” Luhan says with a sweet smile.

“Slut alert.” Baekhyun accuses. 

“So, wait –” Kyungsoo asks, deciding to ignore the irony of Baekhyun calling her a slut when Kyungsoo wasn’t the one begging Chanyeol to “ram me harder with your gorgeous meat stick” just two nights ago because more important issues need to be addressed at the moment, “does he really –” she hesitates, trying to bend her tongue to form around the words, “like me? Jongin, I mean?”

“Aish.” Baekhyun doesn’t hide the roll of her eyes.

Jongdae starts laughing in her face maniacally, Chanyeol following suit not long after.

Sehun snorts. “Where have you been all this time?”

“Aww, baby.” Luhan pouts, petting Kyungsoo slowly.

“Is any of that a yes?” asks Kyungsoo dumbly. 

Jongdae’s laugh only gets louder.

“Why do you think he’s been avoiding you all this time?” Sehun asks, and it should be rhetorical but Kyungsoo is not smart enough to pick up the meaning.

“I don’t know???” Kyungsoo says frantically, on the verge of panic. “Lots of reasons???”

“Look, I don’t know if I should say anything.” Sehun says, “To be honest, I always thought you knew. I mean, everyone else knows. I think.”

“Know what???” 

“That you are absolutely the most clueless person in this entire miserable planet.” Baekhyun sounds exasperated. “Even more clueless than Kim Jongin himself, who would’ve thought it possible.”

“Nobody.” Luhan remarks.

Kyungsoo groans.

“’Sehun-ah, Kyungsoo-noona held my hand during practice today. I think I’m gonna cry. Hey Sehun-ah, I messed up my solo, I hope Kyungsoo-noona didn’t notice. Hey, Sehun-ah, do you think Kyungsoo-noona will let me sit next to her on the plane?’ Sehun-ah, Kyungsoo-noona is so pretty and she smells like peaches and love.’ Ugh. So annoying.” Sehun rolls his eyes. “I’ve honestly just been tuning him out lately.”

Luhan chuckles. “You sound just like him. You should put up a Kim Jongin gag show.”

It’s somewhere between Sehun’s reply and Luhan’s ensuing guffaw that Kyungsoo stops breathing. 

\--

It’s sort of anti-climactic, in the end.

Kyungsoo paces in circles outside Jongin and Chanyeol’s shared room, aimlessly, without a clue how and where to begin. If this were the Old Kyungsoo, she’d pick up the broom and sweep it all under the rug, and maybe make them a traditional Korean breakfast while she’s at it. The Old Kyungsoo would pretend as if nothing had happened and pine after Jongin like always, rinse then repeat.

But something about last night, about taking the first bold step that has untwisted a knot inside her, that makes her want to charge and run through a firing range with her eyes closed and arms outstretched high into the air. And it doesn’t matter if she gets shot, because the New Kyungsoo thinks Fuck It. The New Kyungsoo wants to deal with Jongin and lay the cards down once and for all. The rejection will probably hurt, but New Kyungsoo is a tough, brave woman who can self-medicate through a heartbreak in no time.

She likes New Kyungsoo. 

She likes how steady her fist is as it knocks on the door of Jongin’s room. She likes how New Kyungsoo doesn’t run at the sight of the door opening. And most importantly, she likes how New Kyungsoo throws herself at Jongin when he appears on the other side. 

Jongin is thrown off-balance, stumbling backward, but Kyungsoo’s arms only tighten around his neck as her mouth latches on his lower lip.

This probably isn’t the best or most strategic way to have the talk, as their mouths are rather preoccupied with other stuff, but she decides the way Jongin eventually concedes and snakes an arm around her waist to pull her closer can only be a good sign. 

They kiss feverishly, and it’s nice, but Kyungsoo has to know. So she breaks away and fixes a serious look on him. “You like me?”  
Jongin’s breath stutters into a stop as he visibly chokes on air, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, as if Kyungsoo asked an utterly random question that has nothing to do with any of the things they were doing seconds ago or the previous night. Kyungsoo decides, as she takes in the freaked, wide-eyed look on his face, to soothe his anxiety away.

“Because I like you.” She says without further preamble. “Like a lot.” She pauses. “Possibly more than a lot.”

“Really?” Jongin’s eyes look like they’re dangerously close to dropping from his head.

“Really.” 

“Noona, I – ” He clears his throat, eyes casting down, and Kyungsoo’s sliver of optimism dies away as quickly as it came. Could it be possible –? No. There’s no way that her bandmates would go to such an extreme length to embarrass her. It’s too cruel. No.

“You don’t like me.” Kyungsoo says in a small voice.

“No!” Jongin sputters out almost violently, eyes turning apologetic when Kyungsoo jerks back in surprise, “How do I put it?” He pauses, releasing a long, nervous breath, and rubs the back of his neck, which is just Kim Jongin in his natural habitat. “I don’t really like – like isn’t really the word – that I would – describe what I – what I feel… About you, I mean. Okay, this is coming out all wrong. I like you, but. It’s not really that simple because I’m also sort of… in love? With you? Maybe. At least that’s what Luhan-noona thinks it is.”

Kyungsoo snorts and hits him lightly in the arm. “You went to Luhan for advice? How desperate were you.”

Jongin chuckles but his eyes remain serious. “Very.”

“I can imagine.” Kyungsoo agrees, going quiet when it sinks in. “So, you’re in love with me.”

His head ducks shyly to the floor, watching his foot do that nervous kicking thing again, “That’s pretty much the consensus.” 

“Same.”

His gaze snaps up. “Same as in – you’re also in love with you, or you’re in love with – with me?”

“The first one.” She says with a straight face.

Jongin looks confused for a second, and Kyungsoo can’t help but laugh and grab his face so she can kiss him. “Silly.” She murmurs between kisses and Jongin shuts her up by sucking on her lower lip.

There’s no rush. Kyungsoo takes her sweet time, sighing softly when she feels a strong arm snake around her waist and hike her up so she’s balancing on her tiptoes.

“Wait, so does this mean – “ Jongin interrupts, pulling back slightly.

“So silly.” Kyungsoo mumbles with a faint smile, ridiculously fond, and presses insistently back into his mouth.

Behind them, she can hear a few wolf-whistles and the beginnings of a lifetime worth of embarrassment, but Kim Jongin is curling a tongue inside her mouth, so it's hard to complain about life right now.

 

\--

 

“So does that mean you forgive me?” 

“For what? Because I have a list.” Kyungsoo says. “Quite a long one, too.”

“Can’t be longer than Jongin’s meat rod I imagine,” Baekhyun winks, canines on full display as she grins madly like she’s taken one of those pills Taemin occasionally slips into Sehun’s backpocket at post-concert hotel parties. “But seriously though, for being a bitch to you last night. And for sucking faces with your lover boy over there.” She gestures at Jongin, who’s currently helping Joonmyun and Yifan set up a particularly complicated game system that came in with a German manual. 

She allows herself to stare, to study the way the thin material of his shirt clings nicely to the strong muscles of his back as he bends down to disentangle the wires, broad shoulders tapering down to a slim waist and – 

“Stop staring at his ass and forgive me.”

“I forgive you,” Kyungsoo averts her attention back to Baekhyun, who is pouting, “but I have to ask.” 

Baekhyun sighs, like a punished child. “I was drunk, okay? And I was pissed at Chanyeol and okay, I admit, I might have been a little upset with you. And Jongin was just there, all nice and pretty and everything. It seemed like a logical idea to make out with him.”

Kyungsoo squares a look at her, fingers going tight around the knife that has suddenly stopped moving. After all these years, she still has little to no grasp of how Baekhyun’s mind works sometimes.

Baekhyun has the soul to actually look apologetic during an apology, leaning further into the counter to somewhat beg Kyungsoo not to murder her before lunch, “It wasn’t. Of course.”

Kyungsoo resumes chopping the mushrooms, which is code for ‘you’ll live for now.’

“I don’t even remember much of it, and it probably sucked, pun intended, because Jongin literally left the party to have his wicked way with you, so no need to get all Homicidal Jealous Girlfriend on me.”

Kyungsoo’s chest flutters at the thought. She’s Jongin’s girlfriend? Kim Jongin, who falls asleep watching Pororo and dances like a well-oiled sex machine, is her boyfriend?

Kyungsoo ignores her, picking out another piece of mushroom from the bowl. Luhan, Jongdae and Sehun walk in with loud voices, and she catches a part of their conversation.

“ – being serious? Impossible. Chanyeol would’ve seen them.”

“And Tao wouldn’t?”

“No, because Tao sleeps like a log. Even a burning house can’t wake her, much less adorable missionary sex.”

“I doubt it’s missionary.”

“Trust me, kid, it’s missionary.”

“I dunno, Jongin seems like the kind of guy who wants a girl on top.”

Kyungsoo almost drops the knife in her hand, shooting Sehun a scandalized look, and the boy shrugs and says “tell me I’m wrong.”

“I’m not even going to ask anymore.” Kyungsoo says.

“But I am!” Baekhyun exclaims cheerfully, the traitor. “What are you guys talking about?”

Jongdae halts at Baekhyun’s side. “We’re trying to figure out where Kyungsoo and Jongin did it last night.” 

“I’m holding a knife.” Kyungsoo announces.

“So cute.” Luhan snorts, reaching around Kyungsoo to grab an apple from the fruit basket. “Anyway, I’m placing my money on Kyungsoo and Tao’s room. Kyungsoo probably prefers doing it on her own bed, being the adorable little neat freak that she is.”

“I’m, like, right here.”

“Nope.” Jongdae shakes his head. “I still believe it’s manager-hyung’s room, because we all know it’s the best lit room in the house and it hasn’t been occupied for weeks. Perfect for breaking things. Like lamps and headboards and bedsprings.”

“They’re not animals, hyung.” Sehun says. 

“On the contrary.” Baekhyun snorts, motioning at Kyungsoo’s bruises, which, contrary to popular Idol belief, four layers of BB cream did not at all manage to cover up. 

“I bet Jongin kisses like a dog. All wet with lots of unnecessary tongue.” Jongdae demonstrates by making out with air, tongue hanging out and swirling about.

“I bet he’s fantastic in bed, though. I mean, have you seen the way his hips move.” Luhan says around a bite of apple and Kyungsoo’s blush burns hot in her cheeks. “Dancers are great lovers, this is a fact.”

Sehun agrees, nodding vigorously.

"I heard that!" Yixing screams from the adjacent room. "And I must agree."

Jongdae rolls his eyes. “Show me a scientific study and maybe I’ll be more inclined to believe you.”

“Don’t be so bitter, Mr. Main Vocalist.”

“It’s not rocket science, Jongdae, it’s just obvious, objective observation. Dancers have stronger, more flexible bodies, which aid in carrying out efficient sexual performance. Duh.” Luhan argues.

“Yeah, but what if you got anatomical problems, like a shrimp dick or something?”

“I don’t know about that, but what I do know is that Jongin does not have a shrimp dick. If anything, I think it might be XL.” says Luhan casually, hand moving to pet a suspicious- looking cucumber across the island. “I’ve snuck up on enough of y’all’s showers to know that.”

“So are the rumors true, Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun challenges Kyungsoo with a look and wiggles her perfectly done eyebrows at her. “Is Krong as big as they say?” 

Before Kyungsoo can ask who “Krong” is and properly devise a plan to execute the unfortunate demise of Byun Baekhyun, Jongin walks in like a phoenix rising from the ashes and all homicidal thoughts are gone, replaced by something of helpless admiration. 

When his eyes land on Kyungsoo, Jongin bites down on his lip, as if suppressing a smile, before making his way towards her so he could quietly settle next to her by the counter. Kyungsoo considers him with a smile, feeling a little lovesick. 

“Hey.” She greets. “I’m cooking your favorite.”

There’s something in the way that Jongin cracks a shy smile and bumps the side of their heads together that makes her chest twist with happiness. “You’re my favorite.” He mumbles against the sensitive skin just above Kyungsoo’s ear and she couldn’t stop the small giggle from tearing out if her life depended on it.

“Oh God. It’s happening.” Baekhyun says, “Luhan, pull my hair back.” 

“I think it’s adorable.” Luhan says serenely over the exaggerated retching sounds that Baekhyun is making. “It’s a nice change of scenery from your crazy rabbit sex with Chanyeol.”

Baekhyun straightens and shoots Luhan an insulted glare. “How very dare you. We, too, can be adorable.”

“I don’t know about you, but attempting to permanently sew your tongues together in front of the table is not my definition of adorable.” Jongdae deadpans.

“We’re just very affectionate.” Baekhyun contests.

“There’s a thin line between affectionate and gross, and it’s not hard to tell which side you’re on.”

“HEY!”

“So where did you do it last night?” Sehun asks simply, as though asking about the weather, moving the attention back to them. 

A blush creeps up Jongin’s face, and Kyungsoo can tell by the redness in the tips of his ears that she’s not alone in this fight anymore, that she has someone by her side, to weather every strike and shard of embarrassment bombarded their way. 

She feels a flare of affection and confidence ripple through her. 

With a smirk, she says “That’s for us to know and for you to fantasize about, Young Oh.” She pauses, taking in the astonished, gaping faces before her, “Oh and FYI, Jongin does like a girl on top, no he doesn’t kiss like a dog and yes, it’s enormous.”

Silence befalls upon the room, only to be broken by the sound of Luhan choking on her apple.

 

\--

 

“Jongdae was right. Manager-oppa’s room is the best lit room in the house. Remind me to thank him tomorrow.”

Jongin chuckles, burying his face deeper into the crook of Kyungsoo’s neck. They’re both sweaty and naked under the sheets, having made love twice. 

It’s different from their first time. Jongin took the time to undress her, peeling off her layered garments piece by piece, then gently laid her down the bed and crawled over her, slotting their bodies together. He leaned down to whisper something in her ear, asking if he could kiss her, an obvious shade of pink in his cheeks, and for a brief moment, she wondered what he’d need permission for, then he was raking his eyes down, where their groins were attached, and she held her breath, nodding.

Later, in the throes of mind-numbing ecstasy, Kyungsoo arrived at the conclusion that Jongin has mastered the art of giving head, knowing exactly how to use his mouth and where to press his tongue and make Kyungsoo lose her mind and call out to God, knuckles turned white where they’re fisted in Jongin’s hair. She came so hard she blacked out for what felt like a solid minute. 

Jongin made her come three more times afterwards. 

Now Kyungsoo feels sore, and she’s never felt better. Jongin has an arm draped over her waist, and a leg nestled between her thighs under the blanket, the sweat sealing their skin together. She’s always known him to be a clinger, but after sex, he’s especially worse.

“I like Jongdae-hyung, I don’t wanna give him a complex.” 

“I don’t know. It could be a nice payback for making all sorts of bets about us.”

“Like what?” Jongin’s toe rubs idly against her bare ankle. 

“Like, you’d never confess.”

“Who won?”

“Jongdae and Chanyeol, since technically, you didn’t confess.”

“Yes, I did.” Jongin’s head whips at Kyungsoo with a face of mild indignance, his torso lifting off the bed so he’s eye-level with her. 

“Did not.” She insists. “I did. Me.”

“I think I made it pretty clear that I like you when I offered that you come to Busan with me for New Year’s last year.”

“That was a bit too forward, baby. I was freaked.” She jokes.

Jongin just grins lovingly. “And if I remember correctly it was me who kissed you first.”

“Technically, I did.”

“And remind me again how that turned out.” For once Jongin looks teasing, and it’s a not look she sees often on him, so she marvels in it. 

“Whatever. Still doesn’t count.”

A furrow grows between Jongin’s eyebrows, making him look like a sulky kindergartener. “Why not?”

“Chanyeol and Baekhyun kiss all the time, doesn’t mean they’re in love.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Jongin’s smirk starts slow, eventually settling on his lips like he was born with it, as his almond eyes narrow critically at her. It reminds her of Kai when he’s seducing the camera, except now seduction seems to be the last thing on Jongin’s mind. If anything, he looks like he’s holding a very important secret.

Kyungsoo’s eyes go round. “What?”

“Don’t tell me you don’t know.” The smirk widens, becomes more meaningful. “Isn’t she supposed to be your bestfriend or something?”

She suddenly feels lost under his gaze. “Just tell me.”

“It’s a known fact that Baekhyun-noona is in love with Chanyeol-hyung.” 

“That’s crazy.” Kyungsoo shakes her head. “I would’ve noticed.”

“Yeah, like how you noticed I’ve been helplessly in love with you and punishing myself for it every day for the last two years.” Jongin’s smirk eventually melts into a well-meaning chuckle. 

“Oh.” Kyungsoo’s stomach swoops. “Well shit. I officially know nothing.” She feels a strange pang of affection for Baekhyun, the sympathetic and protective kind. She thinks back to all those times that her gregarious friend joked about growing old with Chanyeol and her heart clenches. Everything, sort of, clicks.

She focuses her attention back on Jongin, who’s openly staring, eyes sparkling with something like fondness. 

“Tell me more.”

“Ryeowook-hyung is infatuated with you.” He starts, lying back against the sheets and latching onto her like one of those suction-cup things. 

“No.”

“Yes. And Jongdae and Joonmyun-hyung are, like, getting domestic or something. They’re planning on getting a beach house together.”

“Damn.”

“I guess it’s true what they say. The prettiest ones are the dumbest ones.”

“Yah!” She jerks. “Tell me more.”

“I really, really, really like you.” Jongin snuggles closer, if that’s possible. He props his chin on the skin just above her breasts, the one not covered by the blanket, and looks into her eyes. “What took you so long?”

“Me?!” She says in exaggerated disbelief. “You’re the one with the slow game.”

“You can’t blame me for thinking I had no chance. You were so out of my league.”

Kyungsoo’s throat is ready to gargle out a guffaw but she’s attentive enough to catch the sincerity playing under Jongin’s eyelashes, the heaviness of his tone. “I’m out of your league? Are you for real right now, Mr. Kai? Mr. Voted Sexiest Dancer of the Year?”

“We all know that was a fluke.”

“And we all know that’s bullshit. You won fair and square.”

“But half of Korea is in love with the charming Do Kyungsoo. Hell, even Taeminnie’s cousin has a poster of you on his wall, and he’s ten. I simply stood no chance.” He pouts, and this is one of those times where Jongin actually looks like a newborn Retriever, proverbial ears dipping down. Kyungsoo is endlessly endeared.

“You know something, though,” Kyungsoo says seriously, thumb playing across the smooth skin of Jongin’s arm, “if I knew you gave head like that, I would’ve confessed, like, on the first day of training.”

Jongin muffles his laugh against her skin. “You’ll be the death of me, I swear.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes enlarge, showing a large expanse of white to emphasize the seriousness of the situation. “I’m not being funny.“

“Sex makes you honest, doesn’t it?”

“Sex makes me say things I’m gonna regret the day after, yes.” Kyungsoo concedes with a resigned huff.

“I have an idea.” Jongin’s head bobs up, more like an excited toy poodle now than a sulking Labrador, as if an epiphany has struck him. “Let’s keep having sex.”

Kyungsoo giggles and ruffles his hair, because she can’t help it. “And give Baekhyun and Chanyeol a run for their money.“

His bright expression quickly turns skeptic, brows curling. “Oh I don’t know about that. Whips kind of aren’t my thing.” 

“What’s your opinion on bondage?”

Jongin’s laugh is loud, echoing off the walls. “I really hope you’re kidding this time.”

“Maybe, maybe not.” 

“So much for pure and innocent.”

“You’re not put off, are you?” She asks, just in case. “Now that you know I’m not the delicate sinless virgin everyone accuses me off.” 

Jongin chortles. “Whether you like it or not, I’m stuck with you now.”

“Oh, the tragedy.” Kyungsoo bemoans.

Jongin leans forward to kiss the tip of her nose, and she can’t help her feigned frown from softening into a lovesick grin. 

“Pabo.” She gushes. “We wasted what could’ve been two years of fantastic love-making and gross pillow talk.”

She expects Jongin to agree by breaking into his compliant Bambi smile, or blushing, like how he usually reacts to most of the things that Kyungsoo says, or maybe even by laughing, because he’s been doing that a lot recently too, but he does none of that. Instead he dons on a face that Kyungsoo can’t read and quite possibly has never seen on Jongin before. He looks pensive and serious and intense and sosososohot that it makes her a little nervous. 

She narrows her eyes suspiciously. “What.”

Wordlessly and with great finesse, his body slithers its way on top of her under the blanket and Kyungsoo’s pulse picks up as she watches him move. He’s got both hands braced on the bed to keep her pinned down, rendering her helpless under his canopy of a body. One corner of his mouth hitches up as he hovers above her. 

She can feel the hard muscles of his abs dig nicely into her lower abdomen, feeling strangely like the poor, defenseless gazelle in one of those nature shows that Joonmyun loves watching so much, about to be cornered by the hungry mountain lion. (Unlike that gazelle though, Kyungsoo very much wants to be feasted on.)

“What do you think you’re doing, mister?” 

“Making up for lost time.” He says with a little cocksure smirk that hides something underneath it, something like helpless adoration and love, strong hands lifting her thighs and locking them around his waist. Kyungsoo’s body reacts against her will and any shot at self-preservation and grinds against him like an auto-reflex. “Are you okay with that?”

Kyungsoo is, by every indication, very okay with that. 

\--

 

Later that night, Baekhyun opens the door to Kyungsoo's room to find her bed empty. 

There's a little tug in her chest, but she ignores it, deciding to go for a better route.

She and Chanyeol fools around in their manager's room sometimes, because why let such a perfectly usable room go to waste? And truthfully, she's sick of listening to Jongin making that pathetic puppy noise when he sees the sock on their door.

Well, she'll probably have to listen to him making ~other~ noises now, but at least those ones will give them something to laugh about over breakfast the morning after.

The door doesn't creak when she slides it open, head tilting at the sight of Jongin and Kyungsoo wrapped around each other under the blankets, which from where she's standing, smell like garden-fresh fabric softener and marathon sex.

Baekhyun is tempted to sabotage their peace, cannon-ball-style, but Jongin looks so ridiculously in love, even when he's asleep, she turns away instead. There's a rustle in the sheets and Kyungsoo flutters one eye open, being a conveniently light sleeper.

"Baekhyun?" She says with groggy voice, lifting her head off the pillow. 

"Go back to sleep." Baekhyun whispers back.

"What's wrong?"

Always trust Kyungsoo to read her even with her eyes only half-open. She doesn't move, hand still clutched on the doorknob.

"What do you think?" She smirks at her, even though there is nothing funny about Chanyeol and his clueless little brain breaking her heart for the thousandth time.

"Come here." Kyungsoo reaches a hand out, eyes blinking into focus.

"I don't there's not enough space for three. Your companion isn't exactly... little." She gestures at Jongin, who's draped over Kyungsoo like a giant stuffed toy.

"I'm sure we'll find a way."

WIth a sigh, Baekhyun makes her way towards the bed and stops at the foot, considering the picture before her. Jongin is fast asleep, snoring lightly into the crook of Kyungsoo's neck, and Baekhyun's stomach twists with something like, jealousy. Kyungsoo sidles away from Jongin's clutch, causing the boy to lightly shift, and makes room for Baekhyun in between. 

"Are you sure?"

Kyungsoo nods sleepily, still holding up the blanket. 

"Because I don't want your boyfriend's midnight wood pressing into my ass."

Kyungsoo doesn't react, so Baekhyun gives in, crawling in the space between Jongin and Kyungsoo. It's warm, and so, so nice. 

She wraps an arm around Kyungsoo's waist and entwines their legs under the covers. 

"Thank you." She whispers.

"You want to talk about it?" Kyungsoo says, and there's a kind of tenderness in her voice that Baekhyun is hearing for the first time. Something's changed, now that she thinks about it, in the way Kyungsoo looks at her.

"Nah. Just boys being jerks." She dismisses, burrowing deeper into Kyungsoo's body.

Just then an tanned arm falls on her waist heavily from behind. Jongin tucks his chin into Baekhyun's shoulder, pulling her close. 

"This one's a clinger, huh?"

Kyungsoo nods affectionately.

Baekhyun smiles into the warm skin of Kyungsoo's neck, "I am happy for you."

"Hmm." Jongin grumbles, lifting his head and blinking at the sight before him with sleepy eyes. 

"Hi." Baekhyun turns to grin at him.

"Hmm." He considers, blinks, and buries his face back into her shoulder without another word.

Baekhyun giggles. "So I guess..." She starts, "you're into threesome now?"

Kyungsoo just snorts, kicking a toe into her shin. "Please don't ruin the moment."

Baekhyun lovingly thinks off the all the moments she's going to ruin in the future, and momentarily forgets about Chanyeol. 

Only momentarily, of course.

 

 

END

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Bulletproof Troublemakers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3806323) by [NaraMerald](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaraMerald/pseuds/NaraMerald)
  * [BTS Bitches](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3948457) by [NaraMerald](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaraMerald/pseuds/NaraMerald)




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